4chanarchive

Force monsters into tiny balls and make them do your bidding

mother3 - your mom dies and theres a monkey i guess.

L4D: a game where you shoot zombies

Chrono Trigger: Crappy misinformed history lesson.

Fallout 3: oblivion with guns

MGS4
You're some old guy, and some other old guy who is your twin and some old combined into a super old guy tries to destroy the world with Mount Rushmore and tiny robots

DOOM: Halo, but with demons instead of aliens

Persona 3: A game that takes place in a hidden hour of the day

>>22825822
>Terranigma: Crappy misinformed history lesson.

Halo: You fight on a giant halo, against intergalactic aliens.

Oblivion.

Telekinetic guards stop you having fun.

WoW - A grind

OH WAIT

Smash Bros: Open weight sumo wrestling.

Order of Ecclesia - A heavily tattooed woman beats up various people and animals.

Banjo-Kazooie: A bear and a bird fight a witch for jigsaw puzzles

no wait that sounds even more awesome

-Shake stuff, stuff happens.
-Best way to serve "justice" is through fire.

You run and jump. And shimmy.

mario bros. - italian plumber jumps on mushrooms to save a princess from a turtle

.... you can't describe this game less poorly than that!

minesweeper: click randomly and lose

>>22825883
If you call WoW a "grind", then you are obviously ignorant of the whole genre.

OH WAIT

God Hand: Running errands for a girl who threatens you with an axe.

Ico: Drag a girl around a castle

Crackdown: GTA, but you're a cop.

Amnesiac robot fights against medic, magician and sentient toaster.

Mario: you run around and jump on things and grab coins I think

NO HOMERS CLUB

>>22825855
Persona 3: A game where you commit suicide to kill stuff.

CoD (any): Throw grenades, profit.

Legend of Zelda: A closet homo trying to make it look like he's straight.

Sonic: It's like one of those marble machines that you did in 5th grade, only you can jump and stuff.

You fight men.

Castlevania- A man wearing a skirt breaks into an old man's house and kills him.

Mass Effect.

Alien sex.

express your creativity by creating things that other people have already created.

Final Fantasy VII: Halo with swords.

Pick a class and shoot stuff.

Elite Beat Agents: you touch a screen while music plays

>>22825847
That still sounds too awesome. How about

MGS4: Some guy shits his pants because he doesn't have nanomachines

LittleBigPlanet: a sack jumps on some platforms

Super Mario Bros: A game where you jump on stuff

yoshi's island: dinosaurs throw eggs at babies with hats

Fable 2: Fable 1 with a dog

Shadow of the Colossus: Link fights giant statue things shaped like animals

>>22825961
Which game is it that you're describing poorly?

Silent Hill

ALL DOORS ARE LOCKED, SHIT GETS RUSTY

mgs3

crawl around the jungle and eat stuff

Everyone is gay and dies at the end

You dig.

Fallout 3: Oblivion with guns

>>22826110
Underground Tale

Tits jiggling simulator, with swords

phoenix wright: book in game form

>>22826021
lol

Kirby: the libido fighting mental issues in dreamland.

>>22826110

Animal Crossing: Live in a house.

Dynasty Warriors: Kill Chinamen until level ends.

Platformer sans jumping

Final Fantasy 8: You Draw Spells and Play Cards to save the world

>>22826009
>>22826009

I lol'd

Deadspace - RE on a spaceship

ff7: chase around a flying albino with bad aerodynamics

this snake is stuck in a zoo then the radio turns on and says CRAWL SNAKKKEEEEE and then he crawls to victory

>>22826023
Mass Effect - Ride Elevators until you win.

>>22826054
Wat?

farcry 2: a game

>>22825829
hahahahaha

The Witcher;

Have sex with all women, collect cards, play dice.

>>22825829

Oblivion: Fallout 3 with swords


wait...WTF?!

>>22826176
That sums it up quite nicely actually

You play as michael jackson and search for childrens

most of these are just brief descriptions... I find few of them to be poor so much as mocking.

Dwarf Fortress:
A typewriter vomits on your screen.

you keep a journal like a twelve year old girl and then die

Devil May Cry: Game where you play as a gay vampire who kills people

Super Metroid: Shoot some monsters for a jellyfish

>>22825880
since when do any of the guards posses telekinesis? idiot.

>>22826021

This is the only good one so far.

>>22826244
fallout 3 with swords is not till 2010

kirby super star: eat everything and fight alongside something you pooped out to collect treasures and kill mutant flying clowns

Metroid - Castlevania meets Alien.

Gears Of War;

You and the bros find a hole.

>>22826283
Devil May Cry 4: Play as the Gay Vampire's son that shoots out magic hands to attack demons.

>>22826269
accurate, and yet..

Fall out 3

A sequel to Fallout 2

Bioshock: Kill little girls profit

Oblivion - Some old guy asks you to deliver a pendant but you never do it.

pokemon red/blue: learn the science of infinite spatial expansion in your own backpack!!!

Final Fantasy X: Fight a whale so it won't make people sad.

Donkey Kong: Jump over Barrels, climb ladders.

A bunch of robots beat the shit out of each other. Then they beat up God.

You're playing as a guy in the UNSC military that destroys a splinter faction of humans

>>22826399
Pokemon invented bag of holding

You Have To Burn the Rope - You have to burn the rope.

best thread in a while

Halo: You shoot aliens and save humanity.

Sonic the Hedgehog: a porcupine runs fast and kills an egg

donkey kong country: climb a mountain to rescue giant fruit from a fat crocodile on a boat

STALKER;

Get out of here Stalker.

>>22826403
>>22826021
Best ones

Shadow of The Colossus
Climb big things and stab them till they die

block a dot so it doesn't vanish on the edge

Halo: you're a dude shooting stuff.

A hands-on course in theoretical physics.

Pokemon - Cockfighting is now legal and the world's favorite sport.

>>22826399
what are you talking about? backpacks in r/b were tiny as fuck, i always ran out of room because I never used or threw away my TMs

>You're a farmer. You can also get married and activities other than farming tend to be better ways to make money.

Sadly, there is no better way to describe it.

Zen Bondage: Rope and blocks.

>>22825777
God, that Pikachu is cute. I want Pikachu to yell at me. And then it'll fuck me in the ass to try to make me feel sorry.

But you can't rape the willing, no no.

>>22826384
Oh god I loled.
Weynon Priory can kiss my ass

Final Fantasy XII: In a ragtag group of people unrelated to each other in any way, fight without going to a battle screen.


>>22826403
lol'd

>>22825681
Eat mushrooms and jump on turtles

>>22826496
missingno every item and youll see what that means

Cory in the House: Cory's in the House

Team Fortress 2;

A bunch of colourful characters with man chins try to push an explosive cart a into a hole.

>>22826399
pokemon gold/silver - see red/blue
ruby/saphire - see red/blue
leafgreen/firered - see red/blue
crystal - see red/blue
diamond/pearl - see red/blue

ocarina of time: kill some arabic guy via TIME TRAVEL

You listen, and do what you're told

BioShock: Shoot bees from your arms and survive town where the model was build in a bathtub

Katamari: collect cats, chairs, and bananas with a sticky ball.

Final Fantasy 12 - movie where you have full control of camera

Chrono Trigger: Travel back in time to 10 years ago to kill a porcupine

Shit happens, you kill people, Christians hate you, and your best friend gets a promotion.

I played this game called R-Type a while back. You played as this flying metal dick and have to kill this big dragon that's guarding this huge mound of diseased vaginas. I think he was collecting them or something.

Bomberman: midgits kill each other in a maze

put pills into unclean bottles

majora's mask: the movie Premonition with more fighting on the moon and giant fish

>>22826536
i once used that glitch for a bunch of rare candies, i later put my bike in my pc and discovered that i had infinite bikes too.
but bikes don't stack so I effectively destroyed a bag slot and started raging.

>>22826328

I think you meant:

Castlevania: Metroid meets Dracula

>>22826615
What?

>>22826690
i want to try that now

Made entirely of water levels.

Half-Life: Run around as a nerd with a crowbar

Starcraft: Construct additional pylons.

>>22826651
>Christians hate you.

Fallout: Find a computer part

Company of Heroes: You command guys. They shoot things and those things die.

final fantasy: save the world

Farcry 2; Radiator repair simulator.

>>22826480
the cave story one was good too

>>22826716
>made entirely of heart attacks
fix'd

No More Heroes: a weaboo kills people with a lightsaber for sex

Phoenix Wright: do lawyer stuff

Izuna: You are a pink haired ninja who seduces men

Dead Space : Nicole is dead

Metal Gear Solid: Shoot terrorists and terrorist leaders

>>22826778
missed the point.

tetris: build shit and then it blows up

>>22826747
I'm pretty sure that game was about Australians conquering Africa and you having to kill them all.

>>22826752
I don't see a cave story one

You and your ladyfriend traverse a bustling city filled with eccentric occupants, then take a tour of a police station.

Devil May Cry 4: Dude grafts a lesbian tentacle ripped off of a barfing frog to find hidden items for him. Other stuff happens too.

left 4 dead: keep women on their periods from noticing you

EVO: blasphemy

TWEWY(The world ends with you)
Make the Noise stop killing you by tapping your screen and yelling at it.

Valkyria Chronicles: You recruit disenchanted teens in an ultra-nationalist nazi germany like nation and watch as they get killed trying to assault the enemies superior forces.

Pokemon D/P: Terrorist organization blows up a lake in search of ultimate power. Go stop them.

Call of Duty 4 multiplayer; GRENADA!

Diablo - *click*

go bowling with your cousin

Dead Rising: Game version of Dawn of the Dead except without the bikers
Tomb Raider: Female Indiana Jones has big tits
Vigilante 8: Drive cars that have loosely attachable weapons

Far Cry 2: Jack Carver isn't in this game and you suffer from malaria.

Dead Space: Fix a huge space ship.

Dead Rising: Listen to a cranky, lazy janitor over a walkie-talkie.

blow up a giant cube (oh and if you dont feel like doing that then shoot paper airplanes and a slot machine instead)

>>22826872
>TWEWY
>(The world ends with you)
Thanks, I would've gotten that confused otherwise

Eat everything.

Final Fantasy 7: A good game

Fire Emblem - it's like chess or something.

A Masochistic hentai simulator.

OH WAIT

Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn: Save furries and resurrect an evil god.

collect bling so you can beat up a fat guy

>>22826021

I think you meant

Castlevania: A really buff man in a leather skirt enters a Dracula's candle-lit abode. Sexy whipping ensues. And Drac always comes back for more!

FEAR: Chase a small girl through office buildings while using matrix moves to kill hundreds of telekinetic drones connected to a crazy escaped cannibal.

"It's like Bruce Lee meets Nathan Lane!"

-Chuck Norris

Curse of Monkey Island: a game about singing pirates

i would say something about ALTTP but i actually have no idea what the plot was

Rayman: A game where you find the center of the world in cages while essentially limbless.

kingdom hearts: mash x
kingdom hearts 2: mash x and triangle

>>22827064
>i actually have no idea what the plot was

that would make your entry even more amusing.

>>22827086
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3b8G8delDlk

you ain't got time to smoke a bowl

>>22827110

candlejack: try to finish this senten

>>22827110
to me it seemed like an interdimensional collectathon journey with the objective of playing baseball with a puppet

Super Monkey Ball:
Use your balls to solve puzzle and mazes.

Pokemon:
Beat up wildlife and use it to mug everyone else.

Gears of war: you and 3 other bros go around giving each other high fives while killing insects.

>>22827170
er did i say baseball, i meant ping pong

Earthbound: Beat up hippies and old ladys.

>>22827028
>FEAR: Chase a small girl through office buildings while using matrix moves to kill hundreds of telekinetic drones connected to a crazy escaped cannibal.
APPLYING BUCKLEY FILTER
>FEAR: Chase a small girl through office buildings
Look, now it's actually funny!

>>22827186

>Gears of war: Exterminators high fiving one another.

Fix'd.

morrowind - take everything not nailed down.

>>22827064
You teleport between worlds as a bunny, then find