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Let's get this started, makes me feel slightly better.

ITT: Parents trolling you
>Sitting down on the couch, looking at porn on laptop (inb4 underage b&, this was a few years ago when I was 16)
>I start fapping, seeing as my father is the only other person in the house
>About a minute from coming
>Father walks out and sees me stuffing my dick in my pants
>Proceeds to spend the next 15 minutes doing random unimportant chores and busywork around the living room
>I slowly go flaccid
>His face

>On bus
>Little kid sat on his mother's lap making a fucking racket
>He keeps trying to climb off her lap and shouting
>Mom manages to get him on her lap
>Bus suddenly stops
>Kid goes flying and does a front flip
>Does not land on feet
>Giggle like a bitch
>His mom's face

ITT: Times you laughed inappropriately.

Bookmark Thread? I think that would be nice.

hey /r9k/

confuse the public with basic physics!

go to omegle.com

ask 'what happens if you drop a pen on the moon?'

post results.

The majority will be wrong and say it floats

I made Omegle.com. Ask me anything. Proof of identity here: http://omegle.com/static/r9k.txt

(Someone on another thread suggested this, and I can't sleep, so here goes...)

>taking to terminally ill grandma about my car getting fixed
>"its really annoying because they are taking ages"
>"well all you can do it wait"
>"yeah easy for you to say, do you know what its like when someone wont give you a time limit, they just leave you hanging with no hope"
>"yes... i do"
>grandma gets up and leaves

Ahh, I didnt realise till like an hour later.

a couple of days ago there was a sneaking/night ops thread and it went pretty awesome.

i thought i would remake it.


for you that dont know what im talking about. sneaking around in the night and not being seen. stuff like that.


sam fisher is always related


post stories/tips/and whatever you feel would be a contribution to this thread.


there is this bird across the street that chirps every night. its the only fucking bird that does this. i think its retarded. its 2am and that thing is chirping.

my mission is to silence it, for the good of the neighborhood

Look at that pic, it's the same guy. After he changed his look he turned from shy guy to pickup artist, dating hundreds of women and fucking dozens, getting a few threesomes in the process. Courtney Love's guitarist Lisa Leveridge became his girlfriend.
So he basically
- shaved the jewfro
- got a tan
- grew a goatee
- added a weird earring
Even though I hate douchey gimmicks like that, I have to admit the result is much more charismatic. He went from weird dork to Chris Cornell rock star lookalike.
Do you think there's a recipe for transformations like this? Could anyone do this? Basically I'd like to become more noticeable and charismatic, but I don't know where to start.

Let's have a general college tips thread for everyone graduating high school; lifehacks for college.

I'll start

First couple of days - leave your door open. People on your floor are gonna be going around trying to make friends/events, all that shit. Good way to make friends quick.

ITT: family "ick" stories

>helping my dad pack for a business trip to cambodia
>put his bags in the car
>"oh hey anon could you put this in my bag"
>hands me a tied plastic bag and goes back inside
>don't know whether i should put it in his carry-on or checked bag so i look inside
>toothbrush, deodorant, etc.
>box of condoms
>he is going to be fucking a lot of third-world whores
>my face

Also my mom died hardly two weeks ago, she's hardly cold in the ground. Although tbh he's probably been doing this sort of thing for a while...

Happy Father's Day, /r9k/. Share cool dad stories.

>11 years old
>getting bullied by kids at school
>dad drops me off by the gates one day and sees the bullies approach
>he gets out of the car, pushes one kid to the ground and yanks me back in
>takes me home and teaches me how to stand up to bullies and how2confidence
>what he taught me that day has stayed with me for the rest of my life, and now I'm far from being the pussy I was

Thanks, dad. :)

>Last week of school
>Senior play
>Huge auditorium thats full
>The play is about 2 teenagers in love
>I play as the male lead
>During the last scene, the girl proposes to me
>Im supposed to just say yes but I want to try to do something hilarious before the school year ends
>Instead I scream "Yeah, if you suck mah dick" really loudly
>Expect tons of laughter
>But the audience is just silent
>No one says anything for 5 seconds
>Hundreds of people just staring at me
>I run off stage and skip school for the rest of the year

Feelsbadman.jpg

But it couldn't have been the most socially awkward moment ever

preferably one that ends in a termination (yours or a co-worker's)

Every once and a while, on random Friday or Saturday nights, I dress up in full camo and sneak around my suburbia and lay in the shadows while other young people wander with their friends.

I have been doing this since grade school. I have been found twice. Once because a dog was growling at me, and the other time because a girl stepped on me while trying to find a place to pee.

My good friend, who I have opened and shared this darkness with, tells me it is creepy. So now I'm sharing my darkness with you gentlemen. I need you robots to explain to me WHY its creepy. I want to get to the root of my .... of my creepiness.

The day I met my current girlfriend, I started an excel file (see image). in this file, I write a sentence or two on what happened between us during that day, and the overall percentage of how i think things are between us. Out of these percentages, I have a graph, with average percentage on it too. In addition, I list if I saw her on that day, if she came to visit, and if we had sex with check boxes.

Out of those checkboxes, I have another graph, showing which weeks had the most visits. I also list how many times we've ever had sex and done other stuff in that field. Also have a count of total number of visits

I've been doing this daily for 152 days now.

she has no idea.

any absurdists here? any of you miss the feeling of conviction or moral certainty?

i miss interpreting the world through a given value system. i was big on rationalism/empiricism and the will to power before i had an existential crisis. obviously i can't enjoy those anymore, since they are no better or worse than hedonism.

it's just all the small things i miss.. like pride in being an "intellectual". i don't think humans are supposed to live wthout some kind of conviction.

/r9k/ share with me some interesting things you have found on the internet. Anything, from guides, to cool or funny sites, to torrents or games. Even stuff you've learned, tricks, easter eggs. literally anything that you've come across that is interesting.

Here's a couple of cool thing's I've found.

http://modrs2.info/en/bad_ideas/ka_fucking_boom/index.html
(A site about explosives)

http://www.futuretimeline.net/21stcentury/2020-2029.htm
(Pretty self explanatory, it's a future timeline)

and here's some cool wikipedia articles.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Norton

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_Skorzeny

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Pinyan

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vassilis_Paleokostas

Hey guys I just invented a new game.
Go to the 4chan.org front page, and scroll down to the 'recent images' section. Screencap it, and add dialogue to make a little comic. Then post it here and/or in a relevant thread, like so.
GOGOGOGOGO

Can anyone on /r9k/ top my most embarassing moment?

I was sitting in the basement at my parents' old house, and no one was around. Since I was young (12 or so) and stupid, I was watching "The Grind" on MTV, and fapping. You could hear people coming down the main stairway, but if they went down the back set of stairs, you couldn't hear them at all.

So there I was fapping when my dad and brother appeared out of nowhere from the back of the stairs. I didn't even have time to put my dick away so I just left it there.

My dad said something like, "What're ya doin?" and they both looked at the TV. I said, "Oh...this is just how I relax". They said "oh..." or something and sat down with me for a couple minutes, watching slutty, scantily clad chicks freakdancing, and I was sitting there with my cock hanging out.

After what was likely the most awkward couple minutes of my life, they got up and left.

Beat that, /r9k/.