4chanarchive

>>103919
Odd

For motha russia!

There was once suspicious traveler coming to soviet village, telling western propaganda. Traveler was traitor to great Soviet Union, he said that capitalist pigs tractor was better. Foolish traveler was sent to gulag by great soviet commissar and food shipments stoped coming to village. Famine took many lives.

Two peasants used village tractor to remove big stump. First peasant said it was impossible for tractor to remove stump. Second peasant said first peasant lacked faith in great soviet machinery, then he put great effort in removing stump. Village tractor broke and peasants were sent to gulag. Now without tractor and peasants, village was doomed.

lol tractor fanboyism

>>103926
Cool cat

Land Bulldog.

Lamborghini fuck yeah!

in soviet russia, tractors break peasants.

One day, great Soviet commissar come to village to see tractor.
"Tractor only 3 wheels, what happened?" inquires glorious leader.
"Great Soviet tractor strong, only need 3 wheels!" replied peasant. "But comrade commissar, I cannot tell lie, I used unnecessary tire to make shoes for village children."
Commissar purged peasant in the name of great Stalin. Village children were sent to gulag, Great Soviet Union don't need children with weak feets!

>>103992
I lol'd

This may be the greatest thread yet

Posting glorious soviet tractor in soviet tractor thread.

Soviet excavator - comrade and brother of soviet tractor!

Many new soviet tractor, car and lorry can see at moscow exhibition!

Soviet village used to have elephant, but famine come. Now village have tractor.

New Soviet tractors coming out from glorious tractor factory in Stalingrad.

>>103919
In america, you break tractor. In soviet russia, tractor break you.

/r/equest more soviet tales!

another great soviet tractor

One day, Soviet commissar came to village for monthly inspection. Great commissar see shiny tractor in communal barn and ask:
"Why don't you use tractor? Do you want to upset great Communist Party?"
"Of course not, comrade commissar, we just want tractor to last longer by not using it for useless tasks." replied peasant.
"Wise thinking comrade, but great Soviet-Union would shine more if tractor is used more!" added great commissar.
Months later, great commissar come back for inspection and see worn-out tractor.
"Why tractor in that state?"
"Well comrade commissar we used it for this and that, and that..."
Politburo relocated village population to Siberian gulag. Villagers were not true Soviets, villagers were inefficient.

>>103999
yes

Stop spamming the best, original board with your shitty clone:

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>ihf d uu c kgo

Unpopular state worker becomes butt of many joke. Day after unfortunate tractor accident, comrades from her village place severed arm in unpopular state worker's bed, and wait for morning to laugh. Morning comes and they enter room to find her eating arm. Horror results, because arm is enough to feed three comrades, and she will not share!

One night, comrade Yuri Volkov finds a picture. It shows capitalist pig on tractor with smile on face. "What is it so happy about," thinks Yuri. It deserves to be shot for insolence toward the motherland.

But Yuri soon becomes sick. His wife is worried, and doctor says is not a virus, but happy capitalist pig tractor did this. When Yuri shows his wife picture of insolent dog, she faints and Yuri feeling better. Yuri goes to show picture to his friends, but they report brother Yuri to KGB. He is shot for spreading capitalist pig propaganda.

Motherland does not tolerate such behavior.

Soviet peasant filled with burning desire to read for glory of Soviet Russia. One day peasant go to Soviet bookstore, and sees book with skull on cover.

He asks owner how much is book, and owner responds 80 rubles. However, owner tell peasant never read last page, or else doom shall fall upon him!

Peasant reads all book in one night, is dark book of capitalism about by evil man, John Deere, talking of automated machinery and air conditioned tractors, many horrors in book indeed!

Yet peasant does not read last page, for he has fear in his heart! One night it storms however, and the man is bored. He finally gathers up enough Soviet courage to read last page, dispelling superstition, for he has faith in the Party.

As soon as he reads last page, man gasps! Book originally 20 rubles! The owner was jew!

>>104114
Soviet hot rod. Cruisin' USSR

Once I hear story about girl in Chaplygin. She was asleep in her bed, when she feel lick on her hand. She thinks it is dog and goes to sleep. Next morning, she finds note on dresser with dead head of dog. It says: "Comrades can lick too." She screams.

Father comes upstairs, takes belt off and beats her. Moral of story is daughters should not yell in house like peasant. House is not Siberian pigsty. I worry daughter will never find good Russian husband.

>http://4chanarchive.org/
>Thanks for your request.
>It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
>This thread has been requested 1 times now.

Do it comrades, for great soviet justice!

>>104158
Good job comrade! Thread has been requested 2 times now.

>>104166
Nigger donk

One night man is riding tractor down dirt road. Young woman stands on side of road, calls out for ride home. Is very cold in Soviet winter. Man takes off coat and puts it on cold fender of tractor. Girl is also cold. Man gives her sack of turnip for to wear. Girl is much thankful for ride home.

Next morning man realize it is day for buying turnip at market, and girl still has sack. He goes to her house. No girl is there, only father. He says daughter died in salt mines ten years ago night before. Man returns to tractor, turnip sack is on seat.

Soviet honesty is strong, even death not stop repayment of debts!

>>104175
Story of true beatutiful, Brother Comrade

One night man tries escape from gulag.

Makes his way to cabin in middle of tundra. Inside is plain, but many family pictures on walls. He falls asleep. In middle of night he is put in sack and dragged out. The next morning he is shot like dog.

Pictures are windows. KGB always watching.

Glorious Soviet tractors, THOUSANDS OF THEM!

Unpatriotic citizen put capitalist dog branding on collective Soviet tractor.

Stop spamming the best, original board with your shitty clone:

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>fhdsy fdfjddbiol inkc u ddfhcogoj kfo

Stop spamming the best, original board with your shitty clone:

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> j dgdfcl

Young Soviet couple is parked out on country road preparing to reproduce for glorious motherland. A radio report tells of escaped criminal in the area called "Tsaricide" because his hands were both removed and replace with sickle and hammer in honor of United Soviet Socialist Republics.
Girl becomes uneasy and her womanish cowardice causes young man to drive car away. When they get out of car, bloody sickle is attached to door handle.

Couple is purged by KGB for murder of patriotic comrade Tsaricide.

CRUSHING CAPITALIST PIG!!!

"Sorry comrade Putin, I forgot about sharing tractor."

"Good, comrade, otherwise you know what would happen to you!"

lol op ure rite but i heard of dis better story at

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>ifcfcvogdsof afdifff hjrhogcuhoodl ssyydd all hhl

lol op ure rite but i heard of dis better story at

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>odihhjokg k gffbbkgcohssju

lol op ure rite but i heard of dis better story at

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>rnocidjdcdgi2oagovyddydicjoofgsaiadbdpsddyh fioviokdyjd hj

One day, Yevdokya is visit by traveller friend. Friend say, "Dunya, I find monkey paw, with power to grant three wishes. But I have all I want in communist utoptia, so give paw to you for keeping."

When friend leave, Yevdokya, being enemy of people and anarchist, decide to make wish, testing paw. she say "Monkey paw, I wish for more food for myself" as she selfish.

The next day, KGB arrive to drag her son away, for enemy collaboration. Now Yevdokya have more bread ration for self.

Anguished for her son, even though he betrayer of worker, she wish to paw again, "Monkey paw, I wish to have my son return to me."

The next day, KGB arrive with her son. her son comply with KGB interrogation and return to implicate mother.

As KGB knock on door, Yevdokya grab monkey paw again to make final wish, "Monkey paw, I make mistake in previous wish. please make them go away."

KGB kick down door and destroy monkey paw. They say "Your son says you worship monkey god. Religion is enemy of worker. Atheism is only scientific truth."

Yevdokya then sent to labor camps for where her dangerous superstitions could not infect loyal soviet worker. She never see son or KGB again.

Parents use caretaker to protect weak children. Caretaker calls parents later, asking permission to cover frightening statue of clown. Parents say "Foolish caretaker, we have no statue."

Children and caretaker found dead. Parents rejoice. Frightened children and weak caretaker not true Soviets.

>>104497
Cool story, bro

You are diligent worker at Soviet Administration office working at night. The Soviet Copy Machine begins working like good Soviet worker. You go to Soviet Copy Machine and see many Soviet copies in the Soviet tray. It is picture of you dead in chair. The other pictures are also of you dead but taken from more Soviet angles.

There is no original picture in the copy machine. In fact, the machine has been out of toner for a week.
Soviet copy machines work overtime for good of cause.

>>104503
You tell storry wrong, comrade, you must be not comrade but capitalist spy!
That what happened.
Parents leave children at home and go to volunteer work on tractor factory for the glory of motherland. They ask their neighbour to look after children.
The neighbour calls parents later, asking permission to cover creepy statue of Lenin. Parents say "We have no statue of Lenin."
Neighbour was arrested and executed for finding the statue of Lenin creepy, parents were arrested and got 25 years of labour camps for not having a statue of Lenin, children were sent to Soviet Orphanage to become good soviet workers unlike their parents.
KGB is always on guard to defend motherland from imperialist spies and dissidents!

Man who live in humble soviet home receives many letter one day. Are big letter, with much content within.

Man open first letter and find capitalist propaganda, pictures of american tractors inside. He knows there is to be more picture in the other letter, so no need to open. He burn letters for warmth.

Suddenly, man attacked from behind. Is soviet soldiers. Man did not distribute letters evenly among his peers for warmth from burn, so is executed.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.

крутой рассказ, брат

OP here. Stop spamming your retarded piece of shit on the superior board:

http://www.ÄnönTälk.cöm/

(remove the dots over the letters)
>ifcfcvogdsof afdifff hjrhogcuhoodl ssyydd all hhluo

OP here. Stop spamming your retarded piece of shit on the superior board:

http://www.ÄnönTälk.cöm/

(remove the dots over the letters)
> j dgdfclya

OP here. Stop spamming your retarded piece of shit on the superior board:

http://www.ÄnönTälk.cöm/

(remove the dots over the letters)
>lgsyggld2us gdk olkr ogdyjd

You are home to watch Pravda on televisir about degenerate murderer who is on the loose. You look out the window door to beet field, and you notice man standing in the snow. He look like foto on televisir and he smile at you. You gulp vodka, picking up fone to your right and dialing Local Militia Precinct Commissar. Back out the glass you look, pressing fone to ear. Notice he now closer to you. You drop vodka in shock.

No footprints in snow. It was reflection. You dullard!

Your apartment is bulldozed down to make way for glorious tractor factory.

Four dogs -- Mexican, American, Polish, Russian -- are discussing their lives. The Mexican dog says, "the servants used to leave meat out for me, but now I have to bark for it." The American dog says, "you have servants in Mexico?" The Polish dog says, "they feed you meat?" The Russian dog says, "they let you bark?"

An American and a Soviet soldier kill each other and end up at the pearly gates
at the same time. Peter says" well, we have national division in hell as well,
but you may choose where you'd like to go. There is an American hell and a
Soviet hell."
American: what's the difference?
Peter: well, in the American hell you have to eat a shovel of shit a day.
Soviet: and Soviet hell?
Peter: two shovels of shit.
American: I'll go to American hell.
Soviet: well, two shovels of shit, not nice, but Soviet I was alive and Soviet I died so I'll go to great Soviet hell.
Millenniums later, the same two soldiers end up doing sentry duty at the
checkpoint at the border between American and Soviet hell at the same time.
Soviet: Hi hi hi! How you doing! Long time no see!
American: Howdy! How are you, you look good!
Soviet: how is it over there in American hell?
American: oh, one shovel of shit a day, you get used to it. How about Soviet
hell?
Soviet: Well, you know how it is, one day no shit, next day no shovels. . .

i`m russian. not troll. ask your questions anon

Under communism we had money but there was nothing to buy, now we have no money and there is lots to buy.

>>104745
>>104733
capitalist pig!

>>104145

Rofl