4chanarchive

Fucking lol did it blind you in one eye?

WHAT

hahahaaaaahahahaaaa

IH LAWDS

so pain

>>1090872

bullshit

>>1090927
i have nearly done the same thing, except sitting down at a table and grabbing my drink without putting down my knife/fork.

>>1090926
>>1090926

coulda made some nice eggs as a side to your french toast

>>1090926
I actually put pepper and salt and spice on my french toast
but i dont add it till after im done cooking cause the pepper burns and salt donest always mix well

I suck that much

I still get shit for this.

>>1091016

Your parents should get even more shit letting a mentally retarded five-year-old fuck with an oven.

Your whole family is probably going to die really soon.

>>1091016
something like that happened to me, too
then another time when I tried to reheat a sonic hamburger in the microwave. With the metal foil wrapper still on (my excuse was "but it felt like paper!")
I was such a stupid kid I don't know how I lived long enough to be an adult

>>1090872
lold. almost certainly fake, but lol

>>1091017
it's a toaster dude

holy fuck i lolled hard at OP. you caused the worst possible chain of events to happen, bar making the oven explode somehow

>>1090921

Why the fuck would you have your eye anywhere within splash range?

>>1092159
I made an oven explode once.

I'm too lazy to ms paint it right now, but I put a can of pineapple in the oven when something was cooking when I was like 5. The can exploded and blew the door off of the oven, which hit my mom in the leg.

I was making chili and after I threw everything in the pot I went back to my computer without washing my hands. I then proceeded to look up some porn to masturbate to.

However, I had been cutting a bunch of peppers before and my dick burned for like an hour.

My MSpaint skills aren't good enough to show it, but about a month ago I tried to boil some water for ramen, boiled it all away, and made the bottom of the pan explode.

>>1090934

actually the eggs already had sugar, vanilla, milk etc. in them. so yeah basically ruined

haha I ruined a brand new pan like this... it was one of those teflon things, and I was steaming some fish. The lid wasn't very tight, and the water all evaporated and I didn't notice. Burned the coating right off, smelled terrible, and worst of all, I had to throw away my tasty fish ;_;

>>1092251
had a similar thing happen to me. Had some dried Habanero peppers, grabbed a few and started nibbling on them while watching TV. Started scratching my balls and 5 minutes later I wanted to go to the hospital. Feels bad, man.

>>1092267
Im guilty of that as well.

Fucking cheap aluminum pans.

>>1092305

Sir, I wish to get to know you socially. We could snack on sweetmeats and scratch our testicles like proper gentlemen, we could.

>>1090872

I seriously wish this ended with a panel of that omelet landing on his face.

>>1092443
holy shit that can really happen? how long did it take?

Lol awesome thread.

I love this thread. Makes me feel better about some of my accidents.

drunk, naked, frying up bacon. bacon grease on my fucking dick, blisters.

>>1092761

>ITT mspaint your worst accidents commited while cooking

I lol'd SO hard at OP's pic.

TRUE STORIES ONLY, JA?

>>1090872
u fucking idiot, lol

Did this on my birthday in front of my whole immediate family.

>>1091016
fucking retard

I'm too lazy to MS Paint this, but I was at work about a year and a half ago, it was really fucking busy, and I was sandbagging steamed lobsters. I had a large, shallow Rondo with about 2 inches of boiling hot, salty water. Steamed the lobsters, took 'em out and tried to dump the water in the sink. Instead, I splashed it all over my left arm, instantly - and I do mean instantly - boiling my forearm. All the skin just slid right off. I had a huge disgusting burn on my arm for 2-3 weeks. I'd ride the train and people would stare because it looked like AIDS.

inb4 pics or it didn't happen

>>1092807
I've done this, except the pizza disintegrated

>>1092827
Pics because I want to see this shit.

>>1090926

augh I did the same kind of thing once -__-
but I fed it to those fuckers anyways.

Fuck them.

>>1092807
1.Grab fork
2.Pull pizza with fork
3.Slide on to cardboard.

>>1092800
I fixed yours for you, pumpkin.

what? Nobody used the slicing-pepper-then-rubbing-eye story yet?

>>1091012
Similar story, I once tried to defrost a bread roll in the microwave but I accidently set it to reheat curry (I pressed reheat, rather than defrost). Though it was only on for two minutes there was tons of smoke and the bread roll was burned to a black rock.

I just made this
semi related

The kitchen is small. It would've landed on me.

I did OP before, but not in the eye thank god.

My story (no art, sorry), pouring tons of bacon grease in a plastic cup, moved over to put the lid on and it slipped out of my hands and got great EVERYWHERE.

Came home after a night out. Put a pizza in the oven, fell asleep until the next morning.

i cant believe i did this. there was so much smoke the neighbours complained about soot (liars)

>>1092973

HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME

I had a piece of Canadian bacon explode in the microwave once. I don't know how to illustrate that though.

started making a quesadilla on the stove

i just finished adding the cheese and meat and melted them together mmm when all of a sudden ADD kicked in and DECIDED TO GO ON A BIKE RIDE FOR 3 HOURS

yeah that was a hell of a smell to come back to

>>1092896
i lol'd hard

<3 this thread

>>1092973
omg lol

Shit exploded in my face and now I look like a monster.

Not really... but sparks everywhere, man.

oven roasting chicken, pulled the 350 degree pan out of the stove, got distracted for a few seconds. turned around and picked it up with my bare hand. my palm was a second degree burn blister for two weeks.

No need to tell me how retarded I am, I got enough of that from my mother.

apparently if you microwave grapes a certain way they make lightning and fire.

>>1093045
See:
>>1093043

>>1093296

By certain way do you mean microwave them in a metal bowl?

>>1093303
no you cut one in half but leave a bit of skin holding the halves together, and leave it open like an open book, then microwave, putting the grape in the microwave's hotspot.

>>1093296
I rofl'd.

>>1093246
o god, i lol'd fucking hard

>>1093278
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, The colour-changing hot wheels were AWESOME

fucking shit hurt

I hate my neighbors, asses they are. But this time it was totally my doing.

>>1093460
Pffft... amateur.

>>1092973
I've done that. Was totally worth getting boned.

>>1092561
5 mins, apparently the pan bottom will just melt away if you don't have water in it.

me this morning T.T.

First time dealing with jalapenos, were the nail beds or whatever. :D

>>1093567

I admit, that made me giggle slightly.

>>1093596
I...I don't get it

>>1093296
i lol'd

>>1093620

He's got pussy hands, deseeding some jalapenos without using gloves gave him chilli/capsaicin burns. I get it from hot habaneros, shit sux.

>>1093246
loled like a motherfucker.

Actually didn't happen to me, but to my friend.

I'm on linux so I will tell you what I did that was stupid I add two cups of sugar to pancakes once

trie story unfortunately

>>1093714
what the fuck does that mean

Gave me the worst burn I ever had, and I still have the scar.

I also did >>1091012 but it was me misreading 15 seconds for 15 minutes because the hell is heating something for 15 seconds, dammit.

'Twas a long time before this healed.
Also, One of the stupidest ways to Water burn yourself, i would say. if anyone has done it, tell me please.

i can't draw......

I really ought to learn to not instinctively try and catch falling objects...

>>1093831

Even in stick figure comics, girls have to be attention whores about their gender.

>>1093928
looks like a guy with long hair to me

>>1093714

What are shards?

plastic melts

>>1093769
>>1093946

Shards are crystal meth.. dude's a fucking crackhead.

In short.
Wake up, hungry, drops food, pain and aids, grabs the fridge door to calm me down and eeze the pain, door breaks off, shit everywhere

You know, I was browsing today, noticing (and enjoying) the lack of angie. Then I happened upon this thread and said, "man, it would be great if there was a thread with 100+ posts and no mention of angie."

Now I know what disappointment is.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>1093996

because you just mentioned angie?

>>1093977
> meth
> crackhead

facepalm.jpg

I learned fairly early that the kitchen can be a dangerous place

Old blender...

>>1093977
>Methhead

>>1093714

Uhm?

>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973
>>1092973

poverty is fun :D

Too bad archive is down. This thread needs to be archived.

>>1094486
inb4 angie plugs her stupid archive nevermind the fact that it only saves thumbnails

>>1094507
you guys seem really obsessed with angie, for a tripfag that hasn't even posted today.
psfnc

less angie talk, more mspaint
i like how a lot of /ck/ draws themselves with a :3 face

>>1094507
>>1094548

trying to make the picture bigger

yes, I know how stupid that was.
it was two years ago and I have a scar.

>for a tripfag that hasn't even posted today.

>>1094548 (07/27/09(Mon)23:07)
see
>>1094216 (07/27/09(Mon)18:38)

>>1094776
fail, but i guess that's what makes mspaint so charming

;-;

>>1094818
Looks like your gf needs a nice ice cold cup of water thrown on her while she is in the shower.

How the fuck do you people keep burning your hands bye forgetting oven mitts? I am a pussy myself when it comes to fire and have never once forgotten about oven mitts.

>>1094848
I don't even know how I forgot them.

But I haven't forgotten them since >_>

>>1094837
Wow, your gf is either really lazy or really inconsiderate.

Turns out one of his prior girlfriends left the plastic on altogether, so I'm still ahead. BOOYAH.

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

>>1094859

This almost happened to me, except the roles were switched. The boyfriend almost put a frozen pizza in the oven with the cardboard on it. I told him not to.

Him: "But the instructions don't say to take it off."
Me: ".....but it's cardboard. It's going to catch on fire in the oven."
Him: "Are you sure?"
Me: "....Yes, I'm pretty sure."
Him: "Ok, if you say so."

It was endearing.

>>1094859
ITT pathetic bitches date closeted homosexuals

>>1094867

Well rest assured, you were right.

He was right too though, it doesn't say anything about the cardboard... I didn't even see it. D:

mmmm

>>1094882
hah

>>1094867

IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING

Paper won't combust until it hits around 450 degrees far.

Pizza won't ever be cooking above 400 if you're doing it normally.

ONE MORE okbye

I cook my pizza at 500 on my quarry tile

>>1094900
winner.

Still ate it afterward. If you thought cold pizza was good, try soggy, burnt to the crisp pizza.

>>1093928

Neglecting the fact that there are at least three of these mspaint comics with stick figures with dicks.

>>1094918
what would make you think this was a good idea

>>1094918
Why would you do this?

>>1094900
god that face

>>1094900
IN ALL MY YEARS OF JUDGING I HAVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE OF SOMEONE MORE DESERVING OF THE FULL PENALTY OF LAW.

TEAR DOWN THE WALL!!!!
TEAR DOWN THE WALL!!!!
TEAR DOWN THE WALL!!!!
TEAR DOWN THE WALL!!!!

So I was about to make me some coffee.

I noticed the coffee being somewhat unevenly distributed in the coffemaker and it felt like a good idea to "blow it into place". Well, it wasn't.

>>1094918
grate idear

>>1094867
Stupid ass always follow the instructions that way if your house burns down you can sue the maker and then they have to add remove pizza from cardboard.

>>1094867
ummmm it'll only catch fire if its at 451 degrees

>>1092973

>>1094902

If you make pizza enough to have your own pizza stone then why would you be dumb enough to leave it on the cardboard...

I've never seen a frozen pizza that said to bake it above 425, which COULD potentially cause a fire if your oven is shitty and it cycles +/- 30 degrees or so.

I am a faggot

>>1095047

Do you think it's alright? To leave the boy with Uncle Ernie?

>>1095825

I think he's had too many...

Moar plz.

>>1095913

Should have told your faggot nancy-boy boyfriend to get off his ass and make it himself.

>>1090872

This is the same dumb fuck who posted the overcooked omlette thread going on right now, isn't it?

For some reason I put some laundry detergent in an old bottle labeled "seasoned salt." When I went out of town my room-mate found the bottle and put it in the spice cabinet, and then used it on various things such as steaks. He had no idea why everything he made tasted disgusting.

>>1096394
Ahahaha! Did your roommate ever get sick?

Lesson learned on how to hold a knife.

>>1096377
Seriously

>>1093567
winrar

.........................

>>1094900
>>1094859

Your skills in paint are exceptional.

Damn irony. It's pretty much my first ever time in /ck/ and I read this thread while forgetting I had a pizza in the oven. I wish I hadn't lost my tablet pen.

Housemate banned from using kitchen, fire or anything made from plastic.

>>1094859
I've used the cardboard many a times when I can't find a cookie sheet, HOW FUCKING HOT IS THAT OVEN?

>>1093567
stoner

OC up in this nigger

Lesson to be learned: Don't sleep while cooking.

Also, is it me, or are there a disproportionate amount of frozen pizza accidents? What about frozen pizza makes it so apt to cause trouble?

...goddammit, I'm going to be drawing all night.

Decided I wanted some Sachira Hot Sauce... I was about to open it when I remembered I didn't shake it. I assumed the twist top was closed so I shook it. Sure eneough, it wasn't and I got an eye full of that watery liquid that settle on top of the sauce.

Two months later I put my hand flat up against a hot iron. I was probably the dumbest nerdy kid ever.

>>1090872
Not only did you ruin your omelet but you spilt your beer. Party foul, bro.

We were making rosemary crusted porkchops and I put them in the oven and I caught my oven mitt on fire cause it touched a coil.

I failed around for about 30 seconds before it went out.

more of a preparing accident. just fucking happened.

>>1097916
>I failed around
sounds about right

Bamp and brace for OC...

Happened a couple days ago.

That cut actually went all the way down to the bone. Took about two weeks to heal up all the way.

And I work in a factory and most of my job is done by hand, so my performance there was pretty well fucked for a good while.

bamp

The fish stew was still pretty damn good.

Cutting up some apples for applesauce when this happened. I actually tried running water over the cut at first as if that would stop it.

I only went to peroxide/bandage my finger after I finished cutting up the apples.

I used to talk on the phone all day and eat potstickers every day, it was bound to happen.

Now I do neither.

>>1098075
Looking cute there. Post tits.

Anyone in this thread have Skype?

>>1098117
The drawing is a lie

>>1098075
Uh, looks like you forgot your 5, there.

Suppose that's a math fail in addition to your cooking fail, eh?

Oh well. Just another one for the record books.

Worst part was waiting hours for NHS to treat me and my friends laughing at me.

I'm not as cool and prone to accidents as other people. :(

>>1096544

I set it to 450, since it said that was what you'd need for crispy pizza. Turns out his oven runs hot- so it was probably closer to 475. It was probably in there too long as well, since he didn't have a timer at his place- we were going by how much of the show had passed.

Do you want brain damage?

If not, abandon this shitty rip-off and come to the original BBS.

WWW.ANANTALK.COM (ANAN = ANON)

The mother of all boards -- for smart, intelligent Internet users who are tired of all the junk.

Shit burns.

Turned my snot pink/red, too.

Do you want brain damage?

If not, abandon this shitty rip-off and come to the original BBS.

WWW.ANANTALK.COM (ANAN = ANON)

The mother of all boards -- for smart, intelligent Internet users who are tired of all the junk.

>>1097941
go back to 420chan, your services are not needed here.

>>1098502
oops forgot my comment. That was the one and only time I forgot to turn the handle away from me. Never again.

>>1098382
did you eat the pink boogers?

My mom is a dick.

>>1090872
so youre retarded

>>1098824
wow, and I thought MY mom was a fuckup
She once made me some pasta and I found little bits of glass in it. Dunno how she managed that one.

Still can't eat banana cream pudding, because that incident was so nasty. Ugh.

Once while working in the produce dept. I was chopping watermelons for samples when a co-worker reached in suddenly to snag a piece. I chopped off 1/3 of his thumb. The sound of the *CRRRRRRUNCH* of his nail being sliced and the bone being cut still haunt me. It was so fucking gross.

A few months ago, I was getting out all the utensils and stuff I'd need to make this salad. Silly me thinks he can hold a lot of things at once when he actually can't. Among those things was this really sharp knife. I dropped it, and of course because I live alone I run around in my apartment naked, so the knife made a nice slice on the end of my dick.

Let me tell you, you do not know this form of pain.

>>1098824
>Mom
>dick

>>1097937


I've done that. :(

>>1098916
everyone's done that

heres a fix'd version for the homecooks. All who deny fucking lie

Was making candy and the sugar-mixture was at hard-crack stage or about 300 degrees F.

I was pouring it into the moulds I was casting it in, and got a quarter-cup sized drop on my hand. It hurt... A LOT.

I then proceeded to drop the pot of sugar mixture all over the counter and try to wipe at the glob of napalm now on my right hand. It only spread the pain like butter across my forearm and other hand.

Worst part about it was that the viscous molten sugar-lava takes forever to cool off even if you douse it in running water, and I ended up with two patches of 3rd degree burns on my right hand and wrist.

>>1098911

I've done that. :D

OP is still the most funniest/retarded.

So I'd only just got into cooking and hadn't used chillis a lot before

>>1098959
I use 1.5 cups of water, 2 cups makes it all soggy

True story.

>>1098824

i lol'd. that would suck. I bet you never let your mom live that one down. haha.

>>1099151
Didya remove the plastic wrapper faggot.

Was with family, and everybody laughed at me.

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>>1090926
HOLY FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I did this too! Except I had already cooked the french toast and I THOUGHT I was putting cinnamon sugar on it. Turns out it was a bottle of onion powder in a very similar shaker. Only time I've ever done a spit take with food

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Wasn't exactly life threatening (unless i drank it)

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somebody had best archiving this shit.

archive pls

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I was working fry station one day, slipped on some canola oil on the floor and plunged my hand into the 520 degree boiling grease for about 4 seconds. had 3rd degree burns on my entire right hand for 3 weeks.

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>>1099420
Wow, that is pretty fucking retarded. Is your hand okay now?

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I didn't commit it and I wasn't cooking.


Shit just happens a lot around here

I never figure out what it is the people put in my cup

lol this thread has been up for like a week

The thread so awesome time itself could not kill it!

>>1099420
>>1098909
>>1098112
>>1098906
>>1095047
>>1098980
>>1097826

yeah

Waiting for oven timer.

>>1101766

>>1101766