4chanarchive

can we have one then plz

bill murray one drove me to the liquor store to get some Disorono...after he dropped me off he raced away screaming ATTICA at the top of his lungs

wow i just fucking saw a thread like this. fuck off NEWFAF. gtfo faggot and take your fail with you because we dont ever want you here again. i am one of the big shots at b u could say and i WANT YOU OUT OF HERE. you dont want to fuck with any anons. never forget never forgive. you have now been warned. stay away from 4chan b or your face the consequeuences and i fucking know your not gong to like them when your info is plastered on the web

Bill Murray told me to go fuck myself when I was nine.
He was filming Rushmore at my school, and I asked for his autograph. He told me to go fuck myself.
Not bullshit.

first off a few from the last thread:

I ran into bill murray at 3 in the morning in central park NY.
He leaned in close and said "no one's gonna believe you"

i told him he fucking rocked.

he walked away smiling, and said "I know"

it was awesome

>>118305481
NEWFAF

>>118305481
Bill Murray once threatened someone over /b/ and claimed to be an anon bigshot

>>118305518

I heard the same story about a guy who stood with him alone in a elevator for several minutes without a word. Then when they got to Bill Murray's floor he said "no one will believe you" and walked out while the guy stood there jaw agape.

Bill Murray gave me a blow job. After he licked me clean, he quickly jumped up, and whispered in my ear, "People are never gonna believe this", and he just walked off.

>>118305481

i laughed out loud heartily.

Bill Murray sat in a corner silent all night at a party I was at in NY, and when it cleared out he thanked me for hosting and took a garbage bag full of bottles to recycle for me

>>118305576
NEWFAF

Bill Murray fucked my mom.

No shit.

hey /b/.
I've been lurking on /b/ for about 4 years. Back before there were "oldfags"
and "newfags". Back before /b/ became a place for angry teenagers to get a
sense of belonging and power. Back before there were any of these Fight-club
style rules. Back before /b/ was serious business.

I look at /b/ now, and it has become what ebaumsworld was back then - and is
still like today: A place of internet tough and cool guys trying to impress
each other. It's pathetic.

/b/ is an image board. It's not a place to act cool, tough or desensitized. You
aren't part of a gang. You aren't part of an army. /b/ is for funny and random
pictures and posts, nothing more.


905764348703533

http://gawker.com/news/diary/bizarre-subway-encounters-with-bill-murray-12268.php

By Gawker, 4:51 PM on Mon May 19 2003, 591 views

A reader writes, "A friend (claims he) was walking through the Union Square station when Bill Murray walked up to him, gave him a noogie and then whispered into his ear: "no one will ever believe you."

This is actually a true story... he owns a house in riverside, CA and my friend courtney is neighbors with him. Whenever we go over to pick oranges (because courtney owns an orange grove) he comes out and helps. Dude is fucking hilaroius

>>118305481

fucking NEWFAF

Bill Murray told me to go fuck myself when I was 9.

I ran into bill murray at a gay club in the glory holes section. we were both waiting our turn...after we were done I told him no one would believe me and he said "i know"

i saw bill murray and and he said "no one's gonna believe you" lol

Bill Murray tapped my foot while we were shitting next to eachother in an airport, I didn't realize it was him until he came out of the stall and winked at me while we were washing our hands

when gtfo faggot and take your fail with you because we dont ever want you here again. i am one of the big shots at b u could say and i WANT YOU OUT OF HERE. you dont want to fuck with any anons. never forget never forgive. you havgtfo faggot and take your fail with you because we dont ever want you here again. i am one of the big shots at b u could say and i WANT YOU OUT OF HERE. you dont want to fuck with any anons. never forget never forgive. you have now been warned.gtfo faggot and take your fail with you because we dont ever want you here again. i am one of the big shots at b u could say and i WANT YOU OUT OF HERE. you dont want to fuck with any anons. never forget gtfo faggot and take your fail with you because we dont ever want you here again. i am one of the big shots at b u could say and i WANT YOU OUT OF HERE. you dont want to fuck with any anons. never forget never forgive. you have now been warned. stay away from gtfo faggot and take your fail with you because we dont ever want you here again. i am one of the big shots at b u could say and i WANT YOU OUT OF HERE. you dont want to fuck with any anons. never forget never forgive. you have now been warned. stay away from 4chan b or your face the consequeuences and i fucking know your not gong to like them when your info is plastered on the web4chan b or your face the consequeuences and i fucking know your not gong to like them when your info is plastered on the webnever forgive. you have now been warned. stay away from 4chan b or your face the consequeuences and i fucking know your not gong to like them when your info is plastered on the web stay away from 4chan b or your face the consequeuences and i fucking know your not gong to like them when your info is plastered on the webe now been warned. stay away from 4chan b or your face the consequeuences and i fucking know your not gong to like them when your info is plastered on the web

One time I was posting a thread full of THE BEST spam, and Bill Murray busted in through the window, threw my computer to the ground, tore my mother in half, and said "No one's gonna believe you."

I told him he fucking rocked.

He walked away smiling and said "I know."

It was awesome.

In one of Norways largest newspaper, there was a story about how Bill Murray showed up at some party, stayed all night and helped with the dishes the day after

I am Bill Murray

Rushmore was the second best movie i ever made, right behind the life aquatic.

>>118305481
what is "b"?

I was sitting in an old 50's style diner when Bill Murray walked in. He came over and sat at our table, and touched my PENIS under the table. He leaned over and whispered in my ear "No one will believe you." Then, he left.

I killed Bill Murray and told him no one was going to believe me

bill murray is awesome

Honestly, last winter I had a late-night bill murray sighting that i was hoping would turn into an epic (i too had heard the stories), but it was immediately after the divorce and he was catching a cab late at night. i knew it was him from across the street and i crossed over to say hi, but he turned around so as to not be noticed. being it was only me and him in this shitty neighborhood (near union square taco bell), i think he might have thought i was a homeless guy to ask for money.

Bill Murray should be a meme.

>>118306168
no one is going to believe you

I told Bill Murray to Ghostbusters 3 and then he beat my mommy...

>>118306206
by saying that you may have ruined any chances of it happening...you cant force a meme

I was killing a hooker in San Jacinto, when Bill strolled up. He looked at me, I looked at him, we both looked at the bleeding hooker in the alley. I offered him the wrench I was using, and he bashed in her occipital lobe, handed back the wrench and said, "No one will ever believe you."

I met Bill Murray at a diner.I bet he couldn't shove his whole fist in his mouth.I was wrong.He said "nobody is going to believe you" and walked away.

>>118306055
accept both of those movie SUCK ass and maybe what 2 people watch them?

I was at a hotel bar in NY last summer. It was lonely but there across the room was Bill Murray. I had the bartender send him a drink on me. He sent the drink back with a note:

Shave the mustache.

No bullshit.

Bill Murray has milk and cookies before bed every night.

inb4 gopher referances

Bill Murray gave me a light at a bar in manhattan, took a drag and handed it back, and then sparked a joint

>>118305481

He's one of the big shots OH SHI-

>>118305481
Yeah some anon said that to me after I posted about being friends with the #2 enhance sham in the world.

Laughed my ass off, newfag got trolled

I was driving my car, when Bill Murray grabbed the car, and flew into outerspace with it, with me stuck inside. He then made brownies.

He took me home, and said, "Noone's going to believe you." I told him he fucking rocked. He smiled and said, "I know."

So I met Bill Murray at Starbucks, and I worked up the courage to ask him on a date after a conversation at the register. He was a month older than me but I didn't really care, he was fun to be around. So we took a walk along the beach, and we kissed in the pale moonlight, a full moon, it was really romantic. We started really getting into it, and he slowly unzipped my jeans, reaches inside and starts kissing his way down my chest, he finally gets all the way down, looks up at me with the most seductive eyes I've ever seen and says "No thanks, I had Reese's for breakfast" and I'm like "No way, you had candy for breakfast?" He replies, "Not candy! Reese's puffs cereal!" So he sliiiiides me a bowl. I crunch into it and WHAM! My mouth goes crazy! That smooth combo of niggers and chocolate-y taste attacking my taste buds! He zips my pants back up and says "And it's part of this complete breakfast!"

When I was nine, Bill Murray touched me on the dick. I started to cry, and told him I was going to tell my mom. He simply whispered in my ear "No one is going to believe you", rubbed my dick again, and walked away.

>>118306539
FUCKING WOWFAGS ON MY \B\

bill murray fucked me when i was 9.
He was filming Rushmore at my school, and I asked for his autograph. He told me there would be candy.
Not bullshit.

I was walking home one night in NYC when I felt someone grab me around my throat and pull me into an alleyway. A few minutes later, I'm a heap on the asphalt after the most savage beating of my life, and the dude turns my head so I can see him.
Its Bill fucking Murray. He leans in and says "No one will ever believe you," and just runs off.

Later I realized that the fucker took my wallet.

bill murray saw me and I told him no one would believe him

>>118306387

Oh shit bro your right, only movies that are really, really popular are good.

Fuck you. They are great movies.

I remember once I attended a croquet party / key party that was hosted by Bill Murray in Palm Beach. Bill said to me, "I wanna introduce you to a special friend of mine" and he leads me past the pool into a cabana, where--inside a small powder room---I see a shortish asian dude doing a line of coke off the top of the toilet tank. Bill pinched the guy on his "love handles" and said, "Dude!" And the asian guy turned around and said "Hey! Don't squeeze the Chairman!" It was then that I recognized him: the guy doing the line off the commode was Chairman Mao Tse-Tung.

Bill told me that he'd been buying pharmaceutical-grade coke from Mao for years, and I should try it. I did a line and my front teeth immediately went numb, and I started babbling to Mao about how much I admired what he'd done with the People's Republic of China. Then Mao's girlfriend turns up---she's like this stunning blond rocker chick, and like 2 feet taller than him---and when he sees her come in the cabana, he lunges for her and says "Kiss me how? Mao SAY TONGUE!" and they end up just making out for 20 minutes, totally coked out of their brains. Later that night, Bill Murray told me that he and Mao had gotten "totally cunted on meth" on night and spent 8 hours sucking each others dicks. "He's a grower, not a shower", said Bill, which---knowing Mao was Asian---I am inclined to believe.

License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.

>>118306079

>>118306387

FACT:Only retards that confuse "accept" and "except" hate The Life Aquatic.

Bill Murray saved my life.
I was walking home from the Wrigleyville bars one night, when a group of thugs started beating the shit out of me.

Bill Murray shows up out of the blue and says, "Okay, boys, he's had enough."

>>118306792
the fact that they are not popular or famous means that the major of people did not like them which more or less mean they suck idiot

>>118305481
NEWFAF is now a meem

bill murray threw a crumpled up piece of paper at me and I opened it up and read that it said "You're It" and the motherfucker ran away

>>118306853
>"Kiss me how? Mao SAY TONGUE!"
Most un-lame pun I've ever read.

I was driving home from campus and I was parked at a stop light. I heard a knock on the window on the passenger side, and it was Bill Fucking Murray. I unlocked the door for him, he got in and asked me to drive to an intersection a few miles away. He starts talking about how I'm going to have to relax, and drive quickly but not speed or break laws. I'm in awe, I can't even respond to him, I just nod.

I pulled into a gas station, he said "Wait here" as he walked inside, out of my view. A minute later, I hear gunfire, and he frantically runs out holding a plastic bag. He opens the door and tells me to start driving like he said before. I pull into traffic, and he tells me to drive him to the airport, another few miles away. I oblige.

As I drop him off, he reaches into the plastic bag and hands me a couple 20s, and right before closing the door, he says "Nobody will ever believe you."

I shit you not.

>>118307050
No, cancer

i walked in on bill murray angrily fisting my sons
and he told me "no one will ever believe you"
then he left
then i angrily fisted my sons

i was masturbating to a picture of dan akroyd one time, and bill murray walked in. he looked at the magazine in my hand, my dick in the other, shook his head and walked out.

true story.

>>118305481
>>118305481
You fucking NEWFAFS have and never will meat the grate Bill Murphy. GTFO my B!

I met Bill Murray in NYC and he told me I lost the game and no one would believe me

I guess this is why they call this board random. ROFL XD

>>118307208
meat the grate bill murray? learn to fucking spell faggit

I pulled Bill Murray off his wife in a Starbucks in Monterey... he was laying into her pretty good. Complimented him on Quick Change and he just laughed. No bullshit.

"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over there in the Himalayas...A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell 'em I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? Bill Murray, himself. Twelfth son of the Murray. The flowing robes, the grace, bald, striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, Bill Murray -- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what Bill Murray says?... Gunga galunga... gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say: 'Hey, Murray, hey, how about a little somethin', you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says: 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, I will lean over and say"no one will believe you".' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

>>118306999

Because the majority always likes things that don't suck ass.

Dude, gtfo /b/ with the point you're trying to make. Seriously. Here of all places, that shit doesn't fly.

'LOL ONLY SHIT THAT ALL THE TRENDFAGZ LIKE IS GOOD LOL!!!'

Faggot.

Anyone ever read 'The Road'? That shit is spectacular.

>>118305481


mega mega mega mega newfag

Bill Murray wears a hair piece with a chin strap so on windy days it doesnt blow away

>>118306055
I enjoyed life aquatic...the only motherfucker that enjoyed it.

ITT: Newfafs

>>118307387
so your say that because it is popular it is no good. what kind logic is that moron. your the one that better leave b FAG

>>118307387
i love cormac mccarthy.

>>118307520
I don't believe you

Bill Murray and I one played golf with the Dalai Lama. Bill was caddying for him and that little shit didnt tip...as soon as Bill said something the Dalai Lama says "On your death bead you will have total consciousness" Bill is totally psyched about it. Always talking about how at least he has that going for him.

I once did an interview for Bill Murray in a small town called Punxsutawney. It was a pretty shitty interview, so I banged h is wife while he jerked off and passed out with the two of them. But the next morning, I woke up in my own bed, and the day repeated itself. I tried anything to escape having his creepy eyes watching my ass as I thrust violently into his woman, but to no avail. I began to think the only way out was suicide. I didn't want to end my life without saying goodbye to my loved ones first, so I called my mother. She told me I was moving in with my auntie and uncle in Bel Air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near it had license plate that said "fresh" and a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought, "nah, forget it" and then I tracked down that perverted Bill Murray and raped his faggot ass.

>>118307520
you're a fucking idiot, nearly everyone on /b/ loves Life Aquatic

amateur, you left your dog here

Bill Murray once told me that he was born in a log cabin that he built with his own two hands.

One time I sucked Bill Murray's dick.

>>118307340

No one's going to believe you.

>>118307593
ITT: Faggot that can't spell newfag if his live defended on it

it was 2004. I ran into Bill Murray at 3 in the morning in Central Park NY.
He leaned in close and said " The Life Aquatic is gonna be a big hit."
I leaned in close and said "no one's gonna believe you"
he walked away frowning and said "I Know"
It was awesome

Bill Murray and I once met in Japan. He was filming a commercial there and I was there with my husband. I was really unhappy in my marriage, and we spent a lot of time together, and really bonded. Unfortunately, he left and we never saw each other again. But before we did, he whispered something in my ear. He said "You husband gives better head."

>>118307683
What? I thought I was the only one. And what is this /B/ your talking aboot?

Bill Murray saw me on a laptop in an airport terminal and tapped me on the shoulder to ask me if I knew what ytmnd was, serious post

Bill and I used to play tennis together out in LA during the Reagan era. I remember I would always take a shower at the club after sweating it up on the courts, Bill, however, preferred to get dressed immediately and leave before I got out of the shower. Or at least this is what I thought, until I caught him watching me through the watery haze. We made eye contact and, to my surprise, he made no attempt to conceal what he was doing. After a few minutes of basking in his gaze, shamelessly might I add, I exited the shower room. On my way to the lockers, Bill presented me with a beautiful, hand drawn portrait of me. He told me it took him several months of careful observation of my "form" to create with such accuracy. I still see Bill from time to time... But for some strange reason he hasn't spoken to me since that one day in the locker room.

Pic related. It's Bill's drawing of me, Chevy Chase.

pure class

One time I ran into no one is going to believe you and he just said bill murray and I was like, you're awesome, and he was like "bill murrrraaay"

>>118307596
Im not saying all popular things are shitty, im saying not all unpopular things are shitty, which you are saying. Fucking newfag, what the fuck is b?
>>118307520
It was a very good movie. Seen the darjeeling unlimited?
>>118307625
Yeah. I can't wait for the movie to be made of it. It probably won't live up to the book, but vigo mortenson (Spelling?) is bad ass.

Me too!

>>118307350
WIN
>>118307644
fail

I was playing guitar on the street in manhattan and I noticed Bill Murray was walking towards me and I started playing Queen Bitch by Bowie and he threw a 20 in my case

Bill Murray once got rid of the ghost in my apartment building...serious post.

>>118307986
HAI SCARLETT

>>118306575
lol fuck i remember that commercial

I remember when I visited Bill Murray on the set of "The Razor's Edge", he asked me if I wanted to meet a special friend of his. I said sure. He led me back to his trailer---he was the lead in the film, but they had given him a seriously shitty trailer---and gave a quick knock on the door, then climbed inside, beckoning for me to follow. To my surprise, inside the trailer was Pol Pot, whose reign of terror in Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge resulted in the deaths of one million people---approximately 25 percent of the entire population. And here he was, moodily lounging on Bill's foosball table. I remember Bill saying "Pol Pot is the best fucking foosball player on earth" and suggesting I play him. I don't know if he was the best, but he was pretty fucking good. Pol Pot told me that Bill had taken a week off from filming Saturday Night Live in 1978 to come and join him in Cambodia's killing fields, and he personally implicated Bill Murray in the deaths of over 6,000 civilians, mostly university professors and midwives. Bill chuckled and remarked to the erstwhile revolutionary dictator, "Dude. No-one will believe you."

>>118308074
oh my FUCKING God.
where can i get one?

One time I was at a Star Trek convention (/b/tard at a Trek con, shocking isn't it?) George Takei had just got on stage. I'd seen him before, and he was telling all the same stories, so I decided to hang out in the dealers room. I was alone, when out of fucking nowhere pops Bill Murray. He looks at me, and does an irish jig. He says to me, "You just got served!" I was like, "What?!" He said, "No one's gonna believe you." Then in a feat of Bill Murray magic, he disappeared. To this day, no one believes me :(

>>118305518

Something similar actually did happen to me. He sneaked up behind me at a subway station in Brooklyn, covered my eyes and said "guess who?" I guessed correctly, and as he was walking away he said "no one's going to believe you!"

Also, I once ran into Jon Lovitz at an airport. I said to him "Hey, are you Jon Lovitz" and went "Yeah! Jealous?!"

>>118306575
woke my roomate lolling

>>118308116
Yes, Murray was under used.

Bill Murray deep fucked my sister for a handful of Fiddle Faddle..

<---

This one is for the books.

I was in Austin, Tx, and this was about 4-5 years ago, i'd say. I went to a club on 6th street, and at about 4 in the morning, i was in a restroom washing my hands, and to the right was Bill Murray. And he's washing his hands, and i'm just staring at the guy smiling like crazy. And he turns to me, and smirks

"You always smile at people you don't know"?

all i could say was

"Sorry...it's just, you're Bill Murray"!

The guy fucking smiles, pats me on the back and says

"Just having some fun."

and then he left. I will never forget that.

>>118308087

I lol'd and facepalmed at the same time

Bill Murray is a god amongst mortal men

>>118308614

I loved that movie though. I pretty much eat up whatever Wes Anderson shits out.

>>118306055
obvious 12 year old,im a pervert wanna fuck?
ground hog day
or
caddyshack

>>118307316
>>118307316
>>118307316
Way to feed the troll you fucking NEWFAF

I believe Bill Murray ran into me and told me no one would

>>118308882
Yeah, the movie was lovely.

all you wes heads can eat some PENIS

fuckin bill wuz totally going ballistic over my turbo GT and here is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down, And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about over 9000 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

Could someone explain the origin of this meme to me? I've been away for a week.

hey /b/.
I've been lurking on /b/ for about 4 years. Back before there were "oldfags"
and "newfags". Back before /b/ became a place for angry teenagers to get a
sense of belonging and power. Back before there were any of these Fight-club
style rules. Back before /b/ was serious business.

I look at /b/ now, and it has become what ebaumsworld was back then - and is
still like today: A place of internet tough and cool guys trying to impress
each other. It's pathetic.

/b/ is an image board. It's not a place to act cool, tough or desensitized. You
aren't part of a gang. You aren't part of an army. /b/ is for funny and random
pictures and posts, nothing more.


399480457831109

I told Bill Murray the secret of life and he leaned in and whispered "no one is going to believe you"

>>118308482
bill murray, google images, page 2

Bill murry didn't believe me. HURFDURF

I ran into Bill Murray and he leaned and whispered EMILIOOOOOOOOOOO THE MIGHTY DUCK GUY

>>118309253

It started about 2 hours ago, when a thread about "Post Your Real-Life Celebrity Stories" got hijacked by people telling bullshit first-person Bill Murray stories which always end with Bill saying "No-one will ever believe you."

>>118309226
it's actually "prissy, bourgeoisie and all of that"

anon delivers, still.

I descended from heaven and told Bill Murray I was the way, the truth and the life, and that none could enter heaven except through me

he leaned in and whispered 'no one will believe you'

fuuuuuuuck. I really did meet bill murray but now cause of this dumb shit no one will believe me >:(
it was at that china man movie theater in hollywood during the premier of life aquatic.

>>118309253

I don't know, but I've read a few on /b/ before in a "celebrities you've met" thread a few months ago.The reason this thread exists is because there was another celebrity thread, which included the Bill Murray stories.

>>118309694
no one will ever believe you

>>118309512
but it's got legs, because the whole point was that a few of those stories have been going around online for years, so we might as well take it to the next level.

while not too interesting, the taco bell one above is real. it was posted by me.

Bill Murray is the one actor that I admire because as much as he has the divine rights to be, he's not an arrogant prick. He actually comes off as a pretty cool guy.

>>118309512
yeah well this one time i walked into the bathroom at lax and bill murray was in there, and well i couldnt help but peak and i see this monster i mean like girthy and 12 inches and he leans over to me and whispers in my ear "no ones gonna believe you."

I was on patrol between the Imperial city and Kvatch when I saw smoke from the road. When I got to Kvatch I saw Bill Murray trying to pickpocket some Nord bitch so I shouted at him "Stop criminal scum, you've violated the law!"

He was really cool about it, he forfeited his stolen goods and paid the fine.

" at that china man movie theater in hollywood during the premier of life aquatic."

ummm.....you mean grummans chinese theatre?

wow, i REALLY believe you were there now. since you know its name and all. Oh, BTW, its one of the most famous cinemas in the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD you retard.

>>118309832
maybe I'm really tired but I lol'd

Sup NEWFAFS?

toasting in an epic bread

>>118309921

...and doesn't afraid of anything.

>>118310144
And then john was Bill Murray.

>>118309706

ive read one here a while ago about a guy who rode in an elevator silently with Bill who said "nobody will ever believe you" as he stepped off

but yeah, it's been aroun a while

absolutely no bullshit here. it was a slow day at the liquor store i work at. my manager was taking a smoke break around back. bill murray walked in. he was wearing big shades and a hat. he didn't want to be noticed. he asked where our grain alcohol was. i was dumbfounded. i loved bill murray's work. i grew up on ghostbusters. the life aquatic is one of the few movies that makes me bawwww like an infant. i couldn't even think of how i could begin to praise him, so instead i pointed out the everclear. he took a pint off the shelf, put a mouth ful in his mouth, pulled out a lighter, and shot a flame in the middle of the store. he slapped a twenty on the counter and whispered, "no one's gonna believe you".

it was okay.

>>118309973
>>118309973
>>118309973
>>118309973
>>118309973

See what i did there anon.

Lrn2rply.

Me and bill were working together in LA. We got fed up with filming for a night and he flew us in Billy Bob' Thornton's private jet to Las Vegas. Long story short-- we buried the hooker's legs in a dresser outside Las Cruces. Pic related. We her in the until she.

>>118309832
>>118309977
I lol'd

BILL MURRAY WAS PHONE

i was fucking a blowup doll in the back loading dock of a taco bell, when bill murray got off the elevator. the funny thing is, the blowup doll had a crude paper mask fashioned to look like bill himself, and had a proton pack strapped to it.

imagine my embarrassment.

>>118308236

GTFO top-right millhouse
no one wants you

My dad's in rushmore. And for some reason, they decided to give him this big odd closeup too.

In the scene where the kid puts the bees into murray's office, and goes down the elevator, there's this random chef pushing a cart into the elevator, and they zoom in on him for some reason. My dad's the chef, lol.

I was in the deepest sleep of my life. I still remember the dream vividly, when all of a sudden a bearded white guy runs into my room and fucking jumps on me and teabags my mouth. Under the light of the moon his silhouette will never fade from my subconscious mind. He leaned in close and whispered "no one's gonna believe you".

i fucked this guy in rush more. he was playing a chef, and for some reason had a big closeup. he liked to pretend he was choke-fucking his son. whatever helped him get the money out his wallet.

>>118305481
Epic eater of troll meat, this one is. And yeah, that kind of troll meet, the part that smells like troll feet and isn't. (explanation: I'm calling you a cock sucker).

>>118309973

I believe the correct name of that theater is "ching chow cho therar"

duhhh, fuckin newfaf

posting in first worthy thread on /b/ for 3 months

http://www.nowpublic.com/strange/bill-murray-crashes-parties-around-new-york

At around 3:30 on the morning after Halloween, two dozen twentysomething hipsters linger at a loft party in East Williamsburg. The kegs are dry, but die-hard stragglers are still dancing drunkenly in the main room. Dave Summers, a 29-year-old grad student at the Bank Street College of Education and one of the party's hosts, has dressed as a cloud for the night—his baby-blue T-shirt and baseball cap covered in dozens of white cotton balls. While several guests have come as Sarah Palin, one is in a furry yellow duck costume. Another is Bill Murray's character from the 1980 film Caddyshack.

Suddenly, one of Dave's guests runs over to tell him: "The real Bill Murray just walked in the door."

"You're joking," Dave scoffs.

"No, really, he's here."

Still not entirely convinced, but worried the actor might leave if there's no booze, Dave runs to a nearby bodega to grab some beer. When he returns, the shopping bag breaks in the hallway. As errant bottles roll across the floor, suddenly there's Bill Murray—leaning down to help collect the beer and even sticking one in his shirt pocket.

OH HELL YES
http://www.observer.com/2008/o2/sad-bill-murray-crashing-hipster-parties-what-else-is-new

>>118305275

>>118311242
your racism would be funny if it were well informed. the name "chinese theatre is itself a LOOOOOONG running racist joke in hollywood.
you are making a complicated epic 60 year win into a fart joke.

download the video:

http://uploadbox.com/files/dcTTsdGLDU
424

Bob Saget raped and killed a girl in 1990.

so bill murray is making out with sister and phone rings
bill murray answers and it sez "WAT R U DOIN WIT MAH DAUGHTER?"
but dad is dead

bill murray said noone will believe me

Bill Murray was eating cereal in my kitchen one morning when I woke up.

I asked him what he was doing and he said I do whatever I want, No one will ever believe you

when i got home from work every piece of furniture in my house had been replaced by small dollhouse versions

Once Bill Murray punched me in the face and said "now one is gonna believe you"

>>118311572
And the really sad part of the story is that the girl was Kimmy. And also he played Kimmy.

Once I saw Bill Murray kick the shit out of Chuck Norris.

This one time Bill Murray and in my bosses . It was sweet. I paid him back though. I owed him so i in Bob Saget's dead and left her to there.

>>118311768
i heard he liked to fuck th infant olsen twins.
thats why they had to have two....had to keep a fresh one on deck.

I just realized /b/ cannot compete with any joke bob saget could himself make. he is a filthy nasty motherfucker onstage.

this one time bill murray was phone

Here's my magnum opus as far as fake Bill Murray Stories:

On the outside, Bill Murray looked like your average almost-seventeen-year-old girl. Brown, curly hair, a slight, pointed chin, and an unassuming smile. But to those who knew her, Bill Murray was nothing but average.

First of all, Bill Murray was a witch.

And not just any witch, no, Bill Murray was the brightest witch of her age. Not to mention she was the best friend of the famous Harry Potter, and his known sidekick Ronald Weasley.

But Bill Murray had a secret. As she attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she began to fall into that familiar teenage period of self questioning. At school, she was well known for her quick wittedness, her excellent grades and her loyalty to Harry and Ron and all that is good. They would never have suspected Bill Murray to be leading a double life.

It began during fourth year.Bill Murray was sitting in her dorm, working on an essay for Professor Snape. She had been concentrating so hard on her paragraph that she didn’t notice Lavender Brown and, other self-proclaimed gossip queen, Parvati Patil enter.

“No way!” exclaimed Lavender, eyes wide as dinner plates. “Did he say anything?”

“Ugh, no..” grumbled Parvati. She rolled her eyes and muttered, “Boys are so dumb. I mean honestly. He just sat there all wide-eyed and stunned. I feel so stupid!”

“Don’t worry, hun, he’ll come around,” nodded Lavender as she patted her friend on the shoulder.

"I almost wish the holocaust had actually happened." - Bill Murray on Israel.

>>118311708

Christ, he looks sad.Like, more than usual.

>>118311996
Fuck you.

>>118311509

LULZ for getting mad at something you read on /b/

>>118312187
I know, it was gross. Especially when we in her.

>>118305756

five years later, gawker re-reports the story

http://gawker.com/5103788/sad-bill-murray-accosting-people-in-union-square


Sad Bill Murray: Accosting People In Union Square
By Richard, 2:28 PM on Sun Dec over 9000 2008, 23,314 views

There’s an urban legend that’s gone around until no one is sure who it happened to, or if it happened at all. It was late one night, a few years ago, when a young man was walking through Union Square Park. He suddenly felt someone behind him, their hands over his eyes. When he turned in surprise, there was Bill Murray, his creased face leaning in close. Bill whispered, “No one is ever going to believe you,” and then just walked away.

SO I WAS CADDYING FOR THE DALAI LAMA HIMSELF
AND HE STIFFS ME!
SO I WAS LIKE, HEY, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SOMETHING, YA KNOW, FOR THE EFFORT?
AND HE SAYS , IT'S NOT GONNA BE ANY MONEY, BUT WHEN YOU DIE,
ON YOUR DEATHBED,
YOU WILL ACHIEVE FULL ENLIGHTENMENT.
SO, I GOT THAT GOIN FOR ME...
WHICH IS NICE...

fun fact: in rushmore when his character walks across a basketball court and stuffs a little kids shot, bill murray improvised that - he got that from a real life experience when his kids were playing with hakeem olajuwon. hakeem blocked the little kids shots!

>>118312342
eh, i will give up some lulz to stop stupidity.
im judge dredd for non-creative idiocy

>>118312140

Yeah, a friend of mine sat next to him on a flight from Houston to New York. She said he looked horribly depressed and very old. But she got to talk to him about Rushmore and such, and get a pic with him, which is good and all. I told her she should have said "Cheer up Bill, there's always Groundhogs Day 2!"

>>118306999
you sir are a fucking moron sales has nothing to do with how good a movie is. Home alone 2 had huge sales and that was a formulaic, puked up shit fest.

>>118312358
Baad gremmar it's quit funny.

#
#
2:38 PM on Sun Dec over 9000 2008
3 replies
Image of FarleyPapus FarleyPapus
2:38 PM on Sun Dec over 9000 2008

I totally believe that he did the "Guess Who" thing to that guy! Years ago in a Chicago bar, he was walking past me through the crowd and when I made eye contact with him he came rushing over and starting tickling me. Then he walked off. It was odd, and all my friends were in shock.

BILL MURRY'S BEEN EATEN BY THE ZOMBIES

I SAW IT

Where have I heard the story about someone seeing Bill through a window or something and looking all surprised because its Bill Murray, and he just looks back and says "I know". I think it was on the Best Show.

>>118312830
I don't know if gapping verbs quite counts as bad grammar. But yes, I find it very amusing.

I heard a story like that but the celebrity was Esther Williams (kids, ask your Grampa). During her movie heyday, a teen kid ran into her and her friends at some hamburger stand in the middle of nowhere. After she gave him her autograph, he said 'Gosh, I don't think my friends are going to believe I met Esther Williams!'. So she pulled her sweater and shirt up and flashed her bare boobs at the kid. Walking away she said to her friend, 'now they definitely won't believe him'.

>>118311467


I recently heard a true story that involved Bill, A younger girl and a party in east Williamsburg.

Supposedly he showed up with some chick to a hipster party after meeting her at a party in the city.

He was a good sport but then started getting too much attention and was regretting coming there. To make matters worse the girl supposedly left without him!

>>118313172
Is that like Alf's favorite hamburger stand?

so i was down the stairs, when bill murray out of nowhere. He sqaurely on the left buttcheek, causing me to in fear. So i the whole way home, up above the ground.

About 2 years ago Bill Murray was in town for the British Open in St. Andrews, Scotland - the home of golf and a rather fancy University town. One night in the middle of a pretty average student flat party he just walked right in, said nothing to anyone, went to the kitchen, did the dishes and walked out. It was phenomenal.

My story of continuing drug abuse with one of the world's most famous actors:

I've huffed with BILL MURRAY probably twenty times by now but at very short intervals.

BILL MURRAY's garage had the tough shit. I'd huff for about five minutes and if I breathed, it's like the very 'folicles' of existence would ripple around me. Never had auditory hallucinations.

Throughout my huffings with BILL MURRAY I developed this crazy little story about the meaning of the universe existing in the scenario of an old lady sitting on a bench tapping her foot that the sound of the crickets. Then an old lady would go by and scoff at her, but the lady on the bench would continue to enjoy the sound of crickets and tapping her foot once again. If I could just decipher it, I would figure the ALL out!

Anyways, I eventually did and lo and behold, it's just some fun little story that becomes grander while huffin' with BILL MURRAY.

At first my heart beats faster, I breathe harder and inhale more and sweat yet in the end, gasoline becomes no longer fun and is just a waste of time. I now huff this lighter stuff that BILL MURRAY watered down or something. That might attribute to it not being that fun anymore. I'm not crazy, my mind's functioning perfectly well.

>>118311467
>Then one of the guests, somewhat tactlessly, approached the actor and said, "I think you're making bad life choices." Mr. Murray thanked the host and left.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HER PROBLEM?!

So I was at the Siberia bar, and I was grabbin' a drink. And I see that motherfucker Bill Murray across the room. I ask if he wants a drink, he said yes and walked over. He downs a tequila, walks toward the door and says, "No one will ever believe my two WoW accounts"

FACT: Bill Murray has a glass of warm milk before bed.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/eae26bb96d/bill-murray-in-fcu-fact-checkers-unit-from-peteandbrian-
and-bill-murray

>>118305275
newfaf.

one time bill murray came up to me at a night club and handed me a piece of paper that said "you lost the game" and then i looked up and he whispered "no one will believe you"

>>118313172

>>118313172
i sooooo hope thats true

>>118313814

Now that's a G.M.I.L.F.!

>>118313505

oh fuck, I was in that thread

faf 18 up, 5 down love ithate it

this word means "funny as fuck", a new common word people use instead of "lol"

NEWFAF is a meme that describes itself.... FUCK.. I think i just Divided by zero in my head by mistake.

Goodnight folks!

>>118313814
>>118313172
Esther Williams is now a Queen Meme

A few years back, I was driving through a shitty neighborhood in LA and I offered a ride to a poor, rain soaked woman with torn clothing. No soon than I had hit the gas pedal, I heard a familiar voice shouting behind my car. The voice was none other than Bill Murray. Before I realized what was happening, Bill was in the front passenger seat of my car commanding that I "Just drive." Once I complied with his request, Bill brandished a pistol and proceeded to execute the woman right there in the backseat of my car. While wiping his finger prints off the gun, Bill exited the car and walked over to the open driver side window.
He leaned towards me, dropped the gun in my lap and whispered: "No one will ever believe you."

Not even kidding.

>>118314138

OHSHI-

there once was a man who thought he was bill murray

you're posting in a troll thread

nobody will believe you

One time I was walking around in NYC and Bill Murry thought I was Jack Black. No JOKE. I get it all the time. He asked for my autograph and i gave it to him. He saw it didnt say jack black. THen he told me that "No one is going to believe you"

so my buddy is going to school where one of his professors used to attend with Bill Murray. It was at Regis University in northern Denver, CO. Bill got hisself kicked out of the Jesuit run university for repeatedly being caught driving his golf cart around nude and spending his afternoons leisurely practicing his golf swing by driving balls off the tops of the campus buildings, also in the nude.

True story

>>118314138

Bill Murray, no one will ever believe you...

wofl

>>118314761

"After graduation, he attended Regis University in Denver, Colorado where he took pre-med courses. He later dropped out after being arrested for possession of marijuana at Chicago's O'Hare Airport."

Wikipedia knows all.

Archive this, we need a few more. So far it's been requested twice.

>>118314173
>>118313172

three bad memes, all in one snap.

>>118315506
fuck that.
bullshit bill murray stories are gold. they've been brewing online for years. /b/ can break them worldwide.

>>118315506
enough faggotry to satisfy 10 mardi gras in one post

I was working my job as a security guard at the WTC on Sept. 11th when i see a suspicious man exiting a vacant office. The man turns, and I see it is Bill Murray, and, behind him i see the room is filled with enough explosives to level a city block. He looks at me and says, "If you know whats good for you, you will run like hell. And no one will ever believe you."

epic

wow i just fucking saw a thread like this. fuck off NEWFAF. gtfo faggot and take your fail with you because we dont ever want you here again. i am one of the big shots at b u could say and i WANT YOU OUT OF HERE. you dont want to fuck with any anons. never forget never forgive. you have now been warned. stay away from 4chan b or your face the consequeuences and i fucking know your not gong to like them when your info is plastered on the web

uploading a zip of this thread and its pics for you, so you can propagate the meme.

>>118317450
http://filerama.com/972p7fz3qvgb/billmurray.zip.html

NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF NEWFAF

bamp

Seriously guys, don't make up shit about Bill Murray. I met the guy once when I was down in Hollywood. He's really cool.

>>118317711
thanks

>>118317830
No need to take it so seriously. It's all done out of love for the awesomeness of Bill.

>>118317830

I AM Bill Murray, and I enjoy this. and no one will ever believe you.

Bill Murrey is the star of Stage and Screen

NEWFAF

>>118317711
>>118317711
>>118317711
>>118317711

nrn

>>118305732

You make me sick you spamming piece of shit. GTFO!

I am Bill, no was is going the believe me.

so i was walking down the street , and Bill Murray popped out of a mailbox and gave me a handjob, nearly to climax - but he stopped and gave me blueballs - got close to my face, and whispered "no one will believe you", and skipped away.

>>118308101
saved

Bill Murray killed me in my sleep.

No one believes me.

>>118317711
>>118317711
>>118317711

So I went to my kitchen to grab me a bite to eat, when I saw none other than mother fucking Bill Murray standing there with a sack of ramsacked items from my home. I stood there for a moment, unable to speak, and felt a burning, stinging sensation shoot through my side. Bill Murray tazed me, bro. He walked up to me, knelt down close enough so I could hear him whisper, "Nobody is going to believe you" and left through my backdoor.

Bill Murray has never been within 500 miles of me, ever. True story.

retry

Hey guys, I went down to the Faf store today and got myself a brand new one.

>>118320734

>>118320897
newfaf is weak. it was copypasta from the same fag who is pushing it as a meme.

>>118320269
>>118320269
>>118317711
>>118317711
>>118317711

>>118322394

cool story NEWFAF.


the guy was a cunt to make a post without taking the 6 seconds to reread it.

GET CUNTED

>>118320734
old

NEWFAF

>>118320734

HOLYSHITSAUCE

thread is dead