4chanarchive

Great! We'll charge £50 for it, and make them buy a special controller for £80!

Sir, we've got reports that people want to be able to fire their guns online.

Add it as DLC.

I like this thread.

Sir, it appears that people are expecting to have an actual game inside of the box when they purchase it.

>>42213013
Put a disclaimer on the box in small print.

>>42212763
Why stop at a special controller when we can make them buy our own special console that's required to play our games?

Mr Kotick, players are complaining that the single player campaign is only 4 hours long.

>>42213073
Fantastic! Promote this kid!
And why just a console? We can make them pay for DLC using Activipoints, which convert at roughly 1 Activipoint for £5.

>>42213117
Remove the single player campaign.

I lol'd

Alright

I lol'd

We should find a way to monetize the methods which players use to complain about our games

Activision brand TVs required to play the Activision PlayCube?

>>42213145
Mr Kotick! Why just a console? We should have the players buy an entire warfare to play the MW2 multiplayer! It would replace the retarded dedicated server problem!

>>42213253
That's it! We'll patent online petitions! That way, they have to pay to sign a petition against us! I like the cut of your jib, have a paper bag full of money.

Players are able to play our games using electricity not supplied by Activision.

Surely there's something we can do about this?

escher had nothing to do with post modernism

What about WoW achievements unlocking Modern Warfare stuff?

BY JOBE IVE GOT IT, In order to play MW2 online, we make it necessary to subscribe to a brand new, Activision only internet!

>>42213255
Great idea kiddo! But make sure that the Activiscreen doesn't come with any cables. They have to buy the Koticables from us!

Mr. Kotick!
Games are getting more realistic every minute going by, right?
So why not charge guns online? I mean, how realistic is it that you always respawn with an expensive gun?
Let us make it cost like real weapons, since it's realistic.
Actually, not even respawning is realistic? Why not charge a small fee to go back to life? We can just tell people that this will encourage them not to break the realism of the game.

>>42213392
Yeah, I failed high school art.

>It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
>This thread has been requested 1 times now.

Mr. Kotick, I HAVE A PENIS

AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHA

fuck, i hate this fucker

>>42213411
I like it! We'll call it 'The Bobby'! No! Wait! 'The Inter-Bobby'! Yeah.

>>42213424
Terrific, how about we add in some faulty guns to? That's realistic!

Mr. Kotick! Hear my new project!
Orchestra Hero will make even the Mozart listening assparents go crazy!
We would ship the plastic violins and grand pianos and everything in a huge Activision container, and charge the price of GH multiplied by ten!

>>42212729
if it's like portal meets cod, i'd pirate it.

>>42213523
Sounds great! Get that Mozart guy to record some new tracks for us, so we can release them as DLC!

Let's have a fundraiser to show that we care!
For every minute Kotick can hold his smile, $5 from every Gold Member goes straight to unnamed charities!

>>42213173
I lold.

>>42213599

Well, I'm not sure if we can get him to record, as he isn't with us, sadly.
HOWEVER! We can fake it all up.
Imagine.
"70% of the profits obtained by Modern Warfare 2 has given enough financial help to us, and our science team has now created the RESURREAN v1.02! Sadly, it could have been used only one time before it broke down, and we did this to bring back to life a great composer, who repayed us by composing some new songs for us! Sadly, the process has made him photosensitive and he can't expose himself to light."

>>42213631
Magnificent! "The Bobby Kotick victims of the recession" charity. We'll funnel it back into our bank accounts. And as it charity, it's non-tax deductible!

>>42213322
Why stop there? Let's buy 4chan and charge for each post made!

>>42213719
I'm not paying for a composer! Go mess with the premade demos on Windows Music Maker.

Add the same Spec Ops missions except add more enemies. Little coding, lots of DLC, big dollaz.

>>42213599
Okay, I lol'd.

Mr. Kotick! Christmas is approaching!
My business plan is the release of the Christmas Warfare where players have to ability to shoot Santa himself in an MW2 Airport like scene. The story would involve you being undercover lieutenant in Makarov's group as he plans on blowing AN ENTIRE NATIONAL CELEBRATION OF THE US.
We should charge 49.99 just for the sake of christmas

>>42213849

Precisely! A simple shuffle option will be enough, as long as we add [Remix] to the end of each song.
By the way, about Starcraft 2, why pettily unbalance multiplayer? This would just ruin the game, let's just have the most basic unit for each faction.
Unless, of course, we can pay up for the hard work of our game designers creating a balanced game by charging with microtransactions use of units per match.
Soon, we'll be able to create the mythical city on the hills!

>>42213849
I really like that jazz one. I'd love a revamp of that.

>>42213950
Get the fuck out of my office.

>>42213950
Superb! But we don't want to appear to be favouring the Christians. Put Moses and Muhammed in there too.
Here's a blank cheque, go get some hookers and sniff.

Activi$ion

http://4chanarchive.org/
Request interface
42212729

>>42213994
Nice! But we can't afford to be designing different units. Just make one and reskin it for each race. In fact, scrap the races, just have humans.

>>42214019
>>42214027
I'm getting mixed messages here.

Wait, I've got it! How about we make half the game, then leave in a level editor so they can build the rest of the game for us?
Kids loved that Tiny Big World thing right?

did you notice?

he is always smiling

this man must be good

>>42214137

And excuse me if I ask, but what about the editor?
Games are becoming a form of art. Now, I'd like to ask something. How much is Vegas 9? 651 euros?
Then why give an editor away for free?
Let us charge 500 dollars for each copy of the editor, art has its costs sadly. And remember that MW2 had no editor, so we can say that "Activision fully supports the modifying of games to ensure a good gaming experience. However, we can't take a risk this big with unbalancing the game, so only some precise people may be able to use the editor". By the way, 500 dollars not for the full game, but for each part of the game, which makes in total 1500 dollars for each person who wants to edit completely. Oh, and to avoid piracy of this such great object we should make it able to be installed just one time on one single computer.

>>42214266
because there are two Koticks. He cloned himself so he can greed in twice the cash

>>42214392
Fantastic! They'd be paying us to work for us! Gloria! Tell those skinny design nerds that they're all fired!
You! Denton! Take this and go buy yourself a small principality.

>>42214113
Thread 42212729 has already been archived.

It is probably still waiting to be reviewed by the mods, which means it can take a few days until it is available in the archive.

>>42214573

Thank you, Mr. Kotick.
By the way, what are our plans for gaming sites?

Mr Kotick! Why dont we make cheap games that are fun to play sir?
oh and we should let blizzard do their own thing. so they can make content for their fanbase instead of making content for people that are only gona be playing for 3-4 months.

>>42214824

it wont pass

cos its not good enough

>>42214828
Paying off these reviewers is costing us too much. Hire some illegal immigrants to hang around outside these reviewers houses with hammers. Then when the immigrants ask for their pay, have them deported! Hah!

>>42214867

>>42214955
Denton, break his legs.

>>42214986

Yes, sir, right away sir.

>>42214986

Good enough?

Good. Now, where was I? Oh yes. It's too much effort to be working on separate games. Couldn't we just combine some of our existing games? World of Guitar Hero? We could make them buy a controller shaped like a sword with plastic buttons. That way we could double the monthly fee, because it's double the game!

>this thread

CAN'T...BREATHE

CHEST...ON...FIRE


HAWWWWWWWWWWWHAWHAHAWHAHWHAWHAWHAWH

>>42215228
but but sir...if we keep alinating blizzard's fanbase as we are they will all leave and sooner or later the people that were play just because it was cool will leave and then WoW will be making no money at all!

>OP still trying to be funny

:l

>>42215464
What are you? Stupid? They'll buy anything we tell them to. Hell, we've almost managed to make them buy the game again just so they can play the exact same thing, but as a goblin. Just spread a rumour that you can fight one of the titans in the next update.

not funny

>>42215637
activision fanboy

>>42212729
as an artist this made me lol

>>42215634
>>42215228
>>42214986
>>42214955
>>42214917
>>42214573
>>42214313
>>42214137
>>42214027
>>42214019
Shut up Bobby

You can talk when you stop running your business into the ground. And go look up the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility. This is just sad.

how about NO MORE HAPPINESS

You know, he's probably a nice guy in his private life.

>this thread

i smiled. rare enough.

Thanks OP. Cleared my day. :3