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Shion was not at the restaurant during her usual shift, and Makoto slunk off, slightly disappointed. As he made his way back home, he noticed the other Sonozaki sister waiting outside his house. Great. The one who barely acted like she had tits. But he had to start somewhere. “Uh, Mion,” he said, putting all his sweet-talking skill to use. “You look great today. Your hair looks really green. Yeah.”

Mion giggled and blushed. Makoto did not find this odd. “You’re a lot cuter than your sister, you know,” he ventured, getting bolder. “I only feel comfortable around you. You’re the one person I can depend on here.” He tried to infuse his (slightly Downs-y) eyes with a look of 100% genuine sincerity. It never failed him before.

“Really?” Mion giggled again and nudged him. “I don’t get along that well with my sister, to tell the truth.”

“Yeah, she’s a real bitch, you know? I wouldn’t be against a threesome in principle, but you know what I mean.” Makoto edged closer and began to contemplate the best trajectory for groping her ass.

He did not find it unnatural when Mion began giggling hysterically. The last thing he felt was the blinding pain of electricity jolting through his spasming body.

Makoto woke to pain and more pain. He was strapped down to a table stained with decidedly non-virginal blood. His head hurt. It felt like something had recently been rammed up his ass.

Mion’s—actually, Shion’s-- face loomed into view. “AHAHAHAHAHA!” she proclaimed, face distorting with gleeful laughter. “You know,” Makoto managed to say, “Kotonoha looked a lot better when she was losing it…”

“You dare insult the Sonozaki face?” Shion screamed. “This is the face of the demon!”

If Makoto gets laid even once in this, I'm firebombing your house.

>>5991267
Bricks! Shit them!

°ε°

Paralyzed with horror at the face, Makoto was not able to scream as Shion ripped off his fingernails with glee. “Please grant at least my few requests,” he finally managed to gasp. “If you have to kill me, fuck me first. And have your sister come over too.”

“You sicken me,” Shion said, and tasered him again into oblivion. And then pissed herself.

Makoto awoke on the edge of the rubbish heap behind the abandoned dam.

Head still hurting? Check.

Ass still hurting? Check.

Fingernails still missing? OH GOD DO NOT WANT.

He stumbled to his feet and tried to remember the way home, when a girlish voice suddenly spoke up behind him. “What is Makoto-kun doing out alone by himself, I wonder, I wonder?”

“Ah, Rena.” He turned and tried to smile at the girl. This could be a good day, after all. “I brought a present for you…uh…” His face turned downcast as he realized he had forgotten to buy her anything.

“USO DA!” Rena screamed, eyes turning into slits. Which he found kind of hot.

“Uh…will you take me home?” Makoto asked.

HE BETTER FUCKING DIE IN THIS FANFICTION, DIE HORRIBLY

THIS IS AWESOME.

“When they ask me what happened to you tomorrow at school, Makoto-kun, I will tell them that you….transferred.”

Dusk was falling. The cicadas continued to cry, fucking as Makoto could not. He ran through the forest, trying not to think about the fact that the bitch had cut off his right hand OH GOD HIS FUCKING RIGHT HAND. What would keep him company now?

Running into a clearing, Makoto bumped into someone. Something female. He looked up to see a slutty-looking woman with pink hair staring at him distainfully. “Uh, hi,” he said.

Immediately he had the shit kicked out of him by an ugly fucker in a Hawaiian shirt.

lol

It occurred to Makoto that he needed medical attention.

On the way to the clinic, he winked at Hojou Satoko, in spite of his self-proclaimed disinterest in lolis. Maybe it was the blood loss.

Once again, he had the shit kicked out of him by an ugly fucker in a Hawaiian shirt.

/r/ archive copypasta in this thread NAO

“Oh god, help me, I’m dying…” Makoto groaned as he dragged himself inside the clinic.

“Don’t worry,” a divine voice said to him distantly. “We’ll take care of you.”

Makoto was delirious now. The voice was enough to bring him happiness. “Nuse…Miyo…” he mumbled, gazing up at her insurmountable chest. “Why are you so droopy?”

“We’ll have to kill him,” Takano said.

“I don’t think that’s the best course of action,” Irie objected.

“Satoko…” Makoto continued moaning. “I want to love Satoko tenderly…”

“You’re right. We’ll have to kill him.”

BAD END

…
…

Itou Makoto looked around nonchalantly. It had been two weeks since he moved to Hinamizawa…

“Hey, you!” a little voice chirped next to him. He looked down. It was Furude Rika. Not really his type, but a good start.

“Uh…do you want to see my ni-pah?” he asked.

Rika’s eyes darkened. “I remember your deeds,” she hissed. “I remember them all. You should never have come to this town.”

“Eh? What are you talking about?” Makoto asked, noticing that Rika’s eyes were growing wider and wider.

“I’VE GOT YOUR FUCKING NIIPAH RIGHT HERE!” The little blue-haired girl screamed, lunging at him. “No, Rika, no! Auauauau~~” a ghostly voice sounded in the background, but too late. Rika began stabbing Makoto full force in the crotch with a mop while he flailed and screamed.

>>5991297
>And then pissed herself.
lolwut

“No! Stop! Nothing to ni-pah about!” Makoto wailed, and the attack finally ceased. “You will leave and never return,” Rika said darkly. “I’ve made sure of it. You’re getting out of here tonight.”

“Ah, good, I’ve just about had it with this place anyway…” Makoto tried to catch his breath.

“I have a very lonely friend who wants to meet a nice young boy like you. Badly.”

“Ah…heh…is she cute?”

“His name is Mr. Delicious.”

OP here. That's all, folks.

This is why Makoto can't survive in any other series outside School Days.

The wimmenz aren't dumb enough to fall for a weaksauce guy like him.

>>5991359

holy shit i lol'd

Well deserved.

Fuck yeah! worth staying awake for

Because this is actually a thread that deserves it:
vote for archival on http://4chanarchive.org/
goto "request interface" and enter 5991267

>>5991421
Copypasta isn't worth shit.

>>5991434
Is that you, Makoto?

You sure you haven't had enough Delicious in your ass?

>>5991297
Bricks have been shat!

In retrospect, I should have paced this better. Ah well, glad it was lulz.

>>Thread 5991267 has already been archived.

>>It is probably still waiting to be reviewed by the mods, which means it can take a few days until it is available in the archive.

Wish it could be screencap/edited, but an archive is good!