4chanarchive /r9k/

9386963 - Anon's Application for Pixar

capsized — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:43:00 +0100

Hi /r9k/, OP here,

My mother has been going on and on at me recently about getting a job or going back into education.

I have decided to try for an animation job at Pixar.

I don't have much experience of animation, but I think that if I can show that I have potential they might take me on as an apprentice.

I have made a small series on the movement of dinosaurs that I am planning to send to Pixar to get my "foot in the door" as they say.

Could you give me some critical feedback on them?

If you are in charge of Pixar then your feedback would be very much appreciated.

The first animation is of a triceratops.

Thanks for your time.

9379674 - Can You Buy Me Something For $40?

capsized — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:23:10 +0100

I want someone on r9k to buy me something a little under 40 dollars after shipping + tax with their debit card so I want to know what I would have to do for you to do this for me. If you want me to do something but aren't going to buy the things for me just ask me and i'll probably do it anyways so please only real answers. I'll fulfill requests to the best of my ability regardless of whether you'll buy it or not from me. My aim screename is paul0brienhunter if you want to talk about getting the items for me or if you just want to talk about anything else even.

9351454 - Ask An Alien Host

capsized — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:53:35 +0100

I am pretty sure I was the host to an alien life form for up to 10 years, go ahead and ask me anything.

9342969 - Job Interview

capsized — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:39:33 +0100

Hai brobot's....

tomorrow i have a 'sort of' job interview for a small computer shop. Instead of sitting down and talking the guy is just going to let me loose on a bunch of 'mistreated' computers, and see how i do. (such as adware, maleware, viruses, full of shit ect). I'm pretty good with this shit because i've been doing it since the age of 10 ( now almost 19, but haven't done much in the last 3 or so years) for the family and many family friends. The dude said i'd be reformatting and finding and installing alot of drivers too.

I'm pretty confident, though i plan to do what i always do. Run my usual scans, remove all threats, remove the shit that cant be removed, clear up the starting up processes, google everything else i can't fix..

is the whole google thing like.. unprofessional? or is that what they do in the real world? Will the dude think i'm a douche'

anyway, the point of this thread is recommend me programs to take along on my usb drive. I'd prefer standalone programs, and freeware, but i'll roll with anything basically.

So, what programs would you guys take a long on that handy USB drive?

Thanks in advance..

9298640 - Ask A Recently Diagnosed Aspie

capsized — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 21:11:00 +0100

Good morning robots, I am offering my services to answer any questions from a recently officially diagnosed aspie (as of two weeks ago). First some background and basic answers that will probably come off as a bit tl;dr:

I am a 26 year old Caucasian male living in California in my parents house. I am currently on short term state disability as of 3 months ago for Major Depression co-morbid with Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. Medications I currently take are ambien, paxil, ritalin CR. I have an AAS degree and have worked in IT for the last two and a half years culminating in a suicide attempt and subsequent leaving of what was then my current job and is now my current state.

I was given a battery of psych exams and IQ tests when I was 17 which I scored a verbal IQ of 139 (scored a 19 on the matrices and vocabulary sub-tests, the examiner had never seen a 19 in matrices before) and a performance IQ of 104 with a cumulative IQ of 124. They diagnosed me with ADHD, schizoid and narcissistic personality disorders at that time. The psychologist who oversaw the case did not know what Asperger's was at the time and I only learned that fact after my current psych followed up on this old evaluation. I have been seeing a therapist for three months and she was the one who suspected Asperger's (she actually grew up with a brother that has it). I was directed to a neurologist and had my family interviewed before the doctor came to the official diagnoses of Asperger's.

continued part 2

9288943 - Stupid/Weird Shit That Was Blamed On You

capsized — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 03:09:34 +0100

featuring green text

>walking down some stairs at the local mall
>some chick in heels trips and falls going up the stairs
>some guy points at me and says "HEY ASSHOLE WATCHA TRIP HER FOR"
>im like "wtf you talking about i was way over here"
>pushes me over and helps the lady just as im about to help her
>dude yells at me to apologize, causing a whole scene
> Walk away without saying a word
>lolwut.jpeg

all i can remember right now, but ill post something else as soon as i remember

also, pic someone related, it would be awesome if the stairs looked like this

9298644 - Times When All You Could Do Was...Wat?

capsized — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 03:06:04 +0100

ITT: Times when all you could do was........wat

>Walking thorugh shopping centre
>Turn the corner
>See a midget pushing a wheelbarrow full of bread rolls
>I smile at him
>He turns to me and says "No crossiants today, boss"
>wat

9293034 - Things Done As A Kid That You Now Regret/Feel Ashamed Of

capsized — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 02:53:48 +0100

ITT: Things you used to do when you were kids but now regret/are ashamed of. I'll start:

-I used to dig my asshole after I took a shit and smelled my fingers afterward. I did this from at least the 3rd grade until middle school.

-Also, when I was very young, probably 8 or 9, I used to take pieces of toilet paper, piss on them, and wrap them around my penis. I don't know why I did this, but for some reason, I thought my penis head looked liked Kelsey Grammer's head (My parents watched a lot of Frasier).

-I fapped in the bathrooms during middle and high school. I also wiped my cum all over the walls of the bathroom stalls for the lulz.

-I used enjoy watching Carlos Mencia and laughed at his jokes.

Your turn, bots

Also, pic unrelated

9284904 - Abortionlol Answers Your Questions

capsized — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 00:26:21 +0100

Hey guys, I typically try to limit my threads to one a month or so, but I had a really shitty day at work and am just saying "fuck it." I guess that since it's June, now, it doesn't really matter.

Whatever. Anyway, I'd love to share with you guys some stories from the abortion clinic (I'm an abortion nurse), the ambulance (I'm an EMT), or answer your questions about sex (I teach sex-ed). You can always IM me (Lolbortion) if you have a question you don't want to ask here.

So then, let's do this.

9286450 - Polite Questions About The Opposite Sex

capsized — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 00:25:46 +0100

ITT, we ask POLITE questions about the opposite sex.

For males:
Do you ever accidentally sit on your balls? Does it hurt?

9238392 - Hangover Stories

capsized — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:53:20 +0100

>Wake up.

>Start remembering things.

>Start cringing.

>Look down at door, clothes carefully piled up against bottom as if there was a fire and i was blocking out smoke.

>Sinking feeling as I wonder if I had set fire to something.

>Open door.

>Remember why I did it.

>Spend 5 minutes chasing the scary fly with a power cord.

>Realise I'm still very drunk.

>Go outside and have to interact with shop person.

>Instantly walk into shelf.

>Try to recover dignity.

>Fail at that.

>Get home.

>Type this.

9220116 - Most Outrageous Things Witnessed IRL

capsized — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 05:34:16 +0100

ITT:
Most outrageous thing witnessed in real life.
This includes the most embarrassing/scary/funny/crazy/etc.

9174841 - Sleeping Positions

capsized — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 03:58:06 +0100

Did the fatty posting about sleeping positions delete her own thread? Oh well.

ITT sleeping positions I guess.

9170197 - Roommate Story Tiem!

capsized — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 03:52:24 +0100

>roommates ignoring the phone ringing

JESUS CHRIST I WANT TO KILL SOMEONE JUST PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE

irritating roommate story tiem?

9091453 - Things That Haunt You To This Day

capsized — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 01:36:55 +0100

When I was 6 / 7 I would regularly go 'frogging' on the field behind my house, hunting for frogs basically. This one time I found a large one. For some reason, I cast it into the air as high as I could, leaving it to smack down hard onto the ground. Upon realising my monstrous actions, I ran over to it to see if it was injured. Two broken legs. I ran home trying not to think about the recent events. I think about this frog daily.

You, /r9k/ ?

9085509 - Should I Kill This Wasp?

capsized — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 05:18:38 +0100

Check this out, captured a wasp, in a syringe, now if a I PULL the syringe and close the top, it will explode due to low pressure.

Shall I?

9065329 - Vocaroo Orgasms

capsized — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 04:53:18 +0100

Vocaroo orgasm thread.

Here is the one I promised yesterday:
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vJ1yivlRR1IxsoiWM

9054080 - Things Your Parents Have Done To Make You "Wut?"

capsized — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 04:10:28 +0100

>Wake up early this morning
>Walk upstairs to find dad sitting in his underwear on the couch watching Spongebob
>I stare
>He stares
>I walk back downstairs

I must admit I was a little proud.

8983808 - Insect/Animal/Arachnid Greentext Stories

capsized — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 16:29:00 +0100

Insect/animal/arachnid greentext stories.

>go to take out the garbage
>in a hurry
>don't put my shoes on
>step in the biggest ant pile i have ever seen
>hundreds of ants biting me in between my toes

8967435 - Fake Sasha Grey Facebook Trollan

capsized — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 17:47:57 +0100

Dear Robots,

I created a Fake Sasha Grey profile on facebook for trolling purposes and then left it to gather internet dust.

After a few months of neglect I found the idle profile had gathered over 800 friend requests and some lulzy messages from people who think I'm the real deal.

what do now?

8963420 - Ask A Guy Who Moonlights As A P.I.

capsized — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 17:47:27 +0100

Ask a guy who moonlights as a private investigator anything.

8923324 - Things People Give You A Lot Of Shit For

capsized — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 00:59:46 +0100

Things people give you A LOT of shit for, for not liking them.

pic related, I am tired of ketchup so I stopped eating it. Everyone rages

8903463 - Why Not Instead Of ?

capsized — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 21:14:34 +0100

why not just mix rubbing alcohol with water instead of buying vodka?
cheaper and same thing imo.

8853293 - Ask a SexEd Teacher Anything

capsized — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 21:21:32 +0100

Hello again, gentlemen and fembots! Due to general boredom I figured I'd make a thread.

So, ask a sex ed teacher anything. You can ask me questions about sex, STDs, birth control, etc. or you can ask me about other things. See also: EMT, Abortion Nurse.

So, what would you like to know?

8795508 - Fraudian Drawings

capsized — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 19:46:37 +0100

Okay /r9k/ I need you to draw a house, a river, a sun, a tree, and a snake. Once you're done with your picture post it on this thread.

DON'T READ THIS UNTIL YOU'VE DRAWN YOUR PICTURE
The house represents you and how you see yourself depending on how detailed it is. The distance from the river to the house represents how close you are to your mother. The distance between the sun to the house represents how close you are to your father. The snake is your sexuality, if it's all coiled up then you're pretty gay. Last but not least, the tree represents how you see your future. If the tree is big and green and healthy, then you see yourself in a good future. If it's tiny, shriveled up and dead then you don't see a good future for yourself.

8789989 - Workplace Secrets

capsized — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 03:30:49 +0100

Let us robots have a workplace secrets thread.

Workplace: Target

The code to get behind the returns desk or into the office where they keep stock guns and radios is always Asterisk, plus the store's number. You can look at any register's screen, even ones that don't have someone on them, to get the store number.

Early Summer and Early December is the best time to steal. Wear a red shirt and khaki pants. This is when all the temps are hired, as well as when people who go to school in another location transfer back and work on their vacation. Seeing new faces are common, and if you know the store number, people are unlikely to question you.

The workers in the back KNOW JACK SHIT.

Get a stock gun using the above tip, go in dressed like you work there, and ask them to 'pull' whatever you want. Then just walk out the emergency exit. This is really effective if you try and steal game consoles or something, most of the time those don't have security on them, and they don't get the big spider-wires put on them until they're officially stocked.

The security cameras can only show so many locations. They always watch Jewelry, Booze, Electronics, and DVDs. Usually automotive too.

They WILL NOT get you for price tag swapping unless you do it very often, or ridiculous amounts. They'll let a 100 dollar bedset out for 30, but they won't let 3 of them go.

If a cashier takes a break, and isn't replaced, peek and see if there's a piece of paper in the holster of their scan gun. That's a sign-in barcode, you can take it and use it at any register to sign in instantly.

8745464 - Ask A Professional Thief

capsized — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 18:53:08 +0100

Ask a professional thief anything. Let me first give you three quick suggestions though:

1. You must build a network of marks and fences before even trying to pull off theft.

2. You must establish a reason as to why you will be studying a mark should the cherries and berries or locals question you (and if they do, never go back).

3. Take a month, at least, to truly consider if you can live with ripping off another persons belongings.

8735958 - Poop Stories

capsized — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 04:29:44 +0100

>constipated, don't want to poop
>goes to poop anyway
>40 agonizing minutes later, GREAT LOG emerges
>10 seconds of pain leaving my colon area as GREAT LOG squeezes through
>finally leaves, I am relief
>my face

Share your poop stories, /r9k/.

8729350 - I Ruined This Bitch's Life

capsized — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 04:28:51 +0100

I work in the printing service section of an Office Depot in San Diego, California.

Today an extremely attractive woman came into my work. After seeming to glance around from employee to employee, she decidedly targeted me and came around some others to ask me for assistance. I will assume this was because she did not want to try spinning her luck with the female employees.

"Hey there" she greeted me. She began to ask me about needing some help at the printer, to which I obliged and walked across our portion of the store with her. She then explained she badly needed help "editing" a document she had. It was a Doctor's note. She wanted me to photoshop the note for her and change it from a physical to a diagnosis of food poisoning, as well as fill in the area for a suggested 4 days of rest.

When I asked why she needed this done, she explained that she missed an exam over an extended spring break out of the country. That if she didn't forge this Doctor's note to assure she could retake the exam, she would fail the course, be responsible for financial aid, and a number of other side effects.

I asked her to give me a bit with it, and browse the store for 30 minutes and I'd call her over if I had any problems.
Continued in next post. Pic related: its what this dumb clubslut looked like.

8710194 - Me Vs. Daily Objects

capsized — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 04:26:44 +0100

Train: WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT, I AM A TRAIN.

Me: Ah! Jesus, what time is it?

Train: I AM THE 3AM TRAIN OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW. DON'T GO ONTO THE TRACKS!

Me: Wha- It's three o'clock in the morning. I was asleep, in my bed. In my home.

Train: CAN'T STOP TO TALK. I HAVE TO DELIVER A VERY IMPORTANT SHIPMENT OF NOTHING AT ALL. WATCH OUT FOR ME, THE TRAIN.

Me: I am not watching out. I am going back to sleep.

Train: WE COULD TALK A LITTLE, IF YOU WANT. I AM VERY LONELY!

And yes that is a loli andalite

8692381 - Good Old Shoplifting Thread

capsized — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 04:21:25 +0100

Let's have a good old shop lifting thread.

Tips, stories, all that shit.

Usually if I'm shoplifting I'll go to a super-store kind of place like Wal-Mart or Zellers that has a washroom. If it has a washroom it's just way too easy, just grab the shit and go into the washroom, unpackage it there and pocket it.

If it doesn't have a washroom I just go to an isle that won't have cameras, or the ones there are fake, like the bicycle section and open it up there.

If you really do get caught, just run. Sometimes people say "Oh they aren't legally allowed to do anything if you just walk out and let the alarms go off" which is true, but they will chase you anyway.

I steal most of my stuff, medicine is especially easy to steal, and have only been caught once where I just ran.

8653325 - Greentext Things That Irk You

capsized — Sat, 29 May 2010 04:59:16 +0100

>in car with friend
>music playing
>friend turns music down to be heard
>volume level no longer a multiple of 5

8590628 - This Is How We Roll In /s/

capsized — Thu, 27 May 2010 00:03:10 +0100

Hello /r9k/ and other board members surely here.

This is how we roll in /s/.

The majority of these sets I will post are from ftvgirls.com.

First up:> Jayden (pic related)

Pics: http://www.megaporn.com/?d=OH80E5IE

HD video: http://www.megaporn.com/?d=2VQCDXDL
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=OEHRKXFU
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=0UWFPHSF
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=SPRC5IOR
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=KES8J9IC

http://www.megaporn.com/?d=NS7HX0WA
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=QR4YN4B7
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=D6KMZ01U
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=73NF6LK5
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=E2YTLBM9

8570431 - moot Invites Everyone To (Kill) /r9k/

capsized — Thu, 27 May 2010 00:03:05 +0100

you'll find that robots are very particular about what is posted here. fellow robots, let's post some helpful tips for our new friends, so they can fit right in!

8560006 - How We Screw Up

capsized — Tue, 25 May 2010 04:12:46 +0100

ITT: How we screw up.

>Going to the library via bicycle.
>It's quite far away and I go past populated areas such a bars and cafes.
>As I cycle past, I see a couple of girls my age sitting in a cafe watching me cycle.
>I was cycling 1 handed as I was drinking some juice with the other hand.
>Try to be cool and OMFG IM SO COOL, I saw a dustbin next to the girls, so I decided to chuck my half full bottle into the 30 cm gap.
>I miss and the bottle hits one of the girls making her soaking wet.
>I fucking speed out of the area as fast as I can with the faint noise of the girls shouting swear words at me.

8545491 - I Found Sister's Dildo

capsized — Mon, 24 May 2010 03:29:26 +0100

Hi, /r9k/. I have a pretty gross confession to make, but its a long story so I guess that I'll just send it in a few different posts with this trip. Here goes. I'll start with my current situation before the incidents that followed..

I still live at home, I'm 19 and will be turning 20 soon. I've been out of school for nearly two years now and its starting to bother me that I'm still hanging around the house. I do the college thing and work and all that, but I still feel kind of lonely. Don't get me wrong, I've had girlfriends and all that but I still feel a little sad here and again. Little things bother and agitate me more than when I was in highschool. I started noticing more about myself that I didn't like. My hair, my body, etc. I'm starting to think I'm giving myself OCD or some shit. Well anyway, onto the story.

8507303 - School Trolling II

capsized — Sat, 22 May 2010 18:53:55 +0100

How many of you fuckers used to knock on your desk in class when you sat next to the door, in order to troll the teacher?

School trolling thread, part two. Continuation of a thread from a few weeks ago.

8483117 - Goofy's Final Thread ;_;

capsized — Mon, 17 May 2010 03:04:55 +0100

Hello again, /r9k/. It's been awhile. For those of you who have never seen one of my threads before (it's been like a year), I worked as a costumed character at Disneyland for a couple of years. I played Goofy, Captain Hook, Genie, Woody, and several others.
This is a general "ask-a-Disneyfag" thread. Anything about the company, Disneyland in general, and the job itself are welcomed.

No, I'm not a pedo, nor are any of the people I worked with.

This will be my last thread. So, ask away!

8461902 - MS Paint Your Childhood Accident

capsized — Fri, 14 May 2010 22:11:20 +0100

MS paint your childhood accident.

Pic related, I'm pretty sure that's the reason why I have visual snow.

8462300 - Pokemon Constructs

capsized — Fri, 14 May 2010 22:11:12 +0100

POKEMON CONSTRUCTS

Where did they come from? What do they mean? Who or what made them?
Includes but is not limited to the Porygon, Voltorb, Beldum, Bronzor, and possible Rotom families.

8435170 - Moments In Your Life Where Your Mind Screamed ABORT

capsized — Wed, 12 May 2010 04:36:15 +0100

ITT: Moments in your life where your mind screamed "ABORT!"

>20 years old.
>Single and lonely, going through college.
>Get a facebook message from a cute reclusive nerdy girl I used to date in high school.
>We talk for awhile and it's really great.
>She asks if we could meet up.
>Excited, things are finally looking up.
>Go to the coffee shop that she asked me to meet her at.
>See her across the room.
>She's extremely pregnant.
>Turn around and leave.
>Don't respond to her emails.

8433056 - Icelandic Volcanoes

capsized — Wed, 12 May 2010 04:36:09 +0100

I think most of you have heard about the volcano eruption on Iceland that has paralyzed almost whole Europe's air traffic. According to scientists the last eruption of Eyfjallajokull lasted 13 months, and that 3 out of 4 eruptions from Eyfjallajokul was followed by eruptions from one of Iceland's most dangerous volcanoes, Katla. Katla's last eruption extended the Iceland's western coast by 5 kilometres.
So chances are the current eruption will last for a long time, and it might also be followed by an even more violent eruption. If it's as dangerous to fly in volcanic ashes as scientists claims this will put an end to European aviaton for at least a year, which of course would be a one of (if not the) Europe's most serious nature disasters ever.
So i just thought we should run a general discussion about the topic. What if the events described above happens (Katla erupts)? Is there any signs that Katla will not erupt? Would it be as serious as described? Etc.

The picture is of Katla, which is located under a 800 metres thick glacier.

Inb4 fuck europe and other bullshit.

8412364 - Ask A Blind Guy

capsized — Tue, 11 May 2010 22:03:26 +0100

Hey guys, I did a couple of these threads on /b/ and I was told I'd probably more genuine responses here; so I thought we'd give it a go if you guys are interested.

*First let me clarify some things*
-I've been blind since birth (Leber's congenital amaurosis)
-My brother is reading all these questions (the good ones anyways) to me because a screen reader would take forever to do it.
-My dreams are audio,smell,and touch intense; although sometimes I do have slight imagery.
-I have never tried drugs (had it asked a few times)
-I stop wiping when I feel clean
-Because of the cinammon sugar swirls in every bite
-I'm 18,A virgin,and Yes I do masturbate (pornfortheblind dot org)

8403274 - Proving Women Are, Indeed, Bitches And Whores

capsized — Sun, 09 May 2010 20:19:54 +0100

In case you missed the thread yesterday, I am currently under the process of scientifically proving that women, in general, are indeed Bitches and Whores. Some will fail to see the significance of such research, but none the less I intend to thoroughly prove Bitches and Whores theory beyond shadow of doubt.

These samples are obtained through random sampling: samples are drawn at random hours over 2 months. During the process of sampling, different loops on scale of 1 (lowest) to 5 (highest) of physical attractiveness are used. Loops on the scale of 1 to 5 feature a male subject of similar/same mannerisms and personalities - with the only difference being physical attractiveness. This ensures the samples obtained display a broad range of female responses to varying degree of physical attractiveness. Some videos are blocked/ended abruptly for purposes of anonymity for the female subject.

Canada.avi
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NT673VMN

8396975 - Sleepguy Returns

capsized — Sun, 09 May 2010 20:19:34 +0100

Hey guys, sorry I didn't make another thread last night, I thought it would be better if I was active for once and actually did something besides interwebbing.

Anyway to those who didn't see my first thread, I literally live in a "dream world". I have idiopathic primary hypersomnia, caused by an accident, which is basically the opposite of insomnia. I sleep around twenty hours a day, during which time I live my normal life in what I guess you'd call a dream world.

So yeah, ask me anything. Again.

8362551 - /r9k/'s School Experiences

capsized — Fri, 07 May 2010 11:34:35 +0100

ITT: Shit we did or experienced during our school years. I'll start.

Preschool: I shat my pants during naptime when I was sleeping. I remember running to the bathroom, but not what happened afterward.

2nd grade: I got tattled on by a nigger because he thought that Buick was a bad word. He told the teacher I swore and I got in trouble.

4th grade: A nigger really did steal my bike. He was in 5th grade and just took off with it after school. My parents didn't do anything about it because the nigger lived in a seedy part of town/possibly no parents. I never got that bike back.

7th grade: New building opening on campus. I immediately went in during recess when nobody was there and jacked off in one of the stalls and came all over the wall.

9th grade: I went into one of the school bathroom only to see almost every inch of one of the stalls smeared in feces. It was all over the toilet, the walls, and the ground. Mind you, this bathroom was right next to the special ed rooms.

11th grade: One of my teachers got busted for CP. He had a shit ton of it on the school computer and the police had to confiscate it. Because of that, we had no yearbooks for that year because he was in charge of making them (all the school pics were on that computer). Many lulz were had. Also, sucked hard for the seniors.

12th grade: Became a TA for my science teacher. Caught a kid fapping in the closet when I was supposed to get glass jars or some shit.

tl;dr I had a pretty average school experience. I'm sure many of you have better stories.

pic related, it was my face when I caught that kid fapping in the closet

8367188 - Mom Watched Me Jack Off

capsized — Fri, 07 May 2010 11:34:24 +0100

>jacking off to incest milf porn on computer
>get going really good for a while
>hear a creak in the floorboards behind me
>my mom tried to quietly sneak out of the room
>she had been watching me jack off for AT LEAST 10 minutes
>she doesn't know i know she was there

I still haven't cum.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!?!?

8364733 - Ask Sleepguy

capsized — Fri, 07 May 2010 11:34:13 +0100

Ask a guy who literally lives in a fantasy world, anything.

Backstory - I've had severe idiopathic hypersomnia (think opposite of insomnia)following an accident when I was 17. I sleep literally twenty hours a day and have a life inside my head that is like normal.
It seems strange to type it out like that, I spend so much time in my "dream life" that my waking hours feel like a dream.

So yeah, I thought you guys might be interested in my live(s).

8323267 - Awkward Shit From Childhood Realized Now

capsized — Wed, 05 May 2010 04:50:33 +0100

ITT: we talk about shit we experienced as a kid that when we look back on them now...well that would have been awkward.

When I was 9 I helped my mom clean her room and closet and I found a little vibrating stick which I thought was cool...I realized it was my mom's vibrator when I got older and totally wtf'd since I distinctly remember putting it in my mouth to let it chatter my teeth because I thought it was funny.

Also...when I was 8 I went to the doctor and had a physical...is there ever a reason for the doctor to put her hand under your balls and squeeze?

8333764 - Social Pet Peeves

capsized — Tue, 04 May 2010 20:15:14 +0100

ITT social pet peeves

>sitting in lecture.
>"friend" keeps trying to whisper to you.
>"friend" is talking about something really stupid you don't give a fuck about.
>tell friend politely you are trying to pay attention to the lecture.
>teacher yells at you for talking.